Right now, the debate between consequentialism and deontology is hard for me to grasp, because I feel like by tabooing words I can re write any dilemma to sympathize with either theory.
If I can recommend a textbook (I don’t know how acceptable a solution that is, but whatever) Normative Ethics helped me overcome a lot of confusion about terms and theories and realize that it’s not all just pure wordplay. It definitely helped me get a better handle on the specifics of the debate between the various normative moral positions.
I have a hunch things are a good bit better in proper philosophy than you think. Admittedly, most intro and medium level courses regarding ethics are pretty terrible (this is obviously only from personal experience.) If I had to make a guess as to why that is, it’d probably be for the same reason I think most of the rest of philosophy courses could be better: too much focus on history.