It’s I portant to distinguish between chemistry and fit as a partner.
If someone says they want, for instance, a partner with a growth mindset, they can be totally right that that’s the best partner for them, while totally wrong that they’ll find such a person immediately attractive. They might be wildly attracted to some set of traits correlated with a fixed mindset.
They should still probably date the person with the growth mindset. Or at least choose consciously. The people they’re attracted to might make them miserable in the longer term by being bad fits on important qualities like mindset.
Good chemistry can be bad for long term happiness; people wind up attracted to and in love with someone that’s bad for them.
This makes sense for the most part.
It’s I portant to distinguish between chemistry and fit as a partner.
If someone says they want, for instance, a partner with a growth mindset, they can be totally right that that’s the best partner for them, while totally wrong that they’ll find such a person immediately attractive. They might be wildly attracted to some set of traits correlated with a fixed mindset.
They should still probably date the person with the growth mindset. Or at least choose consciously. The people they’re attracted to might make them miserable in the longer term by being bad fits on important qualities like mindset.
Good chemistry can be bad for long term happiness; people wind up attracted to and in love with someone that’s bad for them.