A small addendum, that I realized I omitted from my prior arguments in favor of the principle of charity:
Because I make a habit of asking for clarification when I don’t understand, offering clarification when not understood, and preferring “I don’t agree with your assertion” to “you are being stupid”, people are happier to talk to me. Among the costs of always responding to what people say instead of your best understanding of what they mean—especially if you are quick to dismiss people when their statements are flawed—is that talking to you becomes costly: I have to word my statements precisely to ensure that I have not said something I do not mean, meant something I did not say, or made claims you will demand support for without support. If, on the other hand, I am confident that you will gladly allow me to correct my errors of presentation, I can simply speak, and fix anything I say wrong as it comes up.
Which, in turn, means that I can learn from a lot of people who would not want to speak to me otherwise.
responding to what people say instead of your best understanding of what they mean
Again: I completely agree that you should make your best effort to understand what other people actually mean. I do not call this charity—it sounds like SOP and “just don’t be an idiot yourself” to me.
A small addendum, that I realized I omitted from my prior arguments in favor of the principle of charity:
Because I make a habit of asking for clarification when I don’t understand, offering clarification when not understood, and preferring “I don’t agree with your assertion” to “you are being stupid”, people are happier to talk to me. Among the costs of always responding to what people say instead of your best understanding of what they mean—especially if you are quick to dismiss people when their statements are flawed—is that talking to you becomes costly: I have to word my statements precisely to ensure that I have not said something I do not mean, meant something I did not say, or made claims you will demand support for without support. If, on the other hand, I am confident that you will gladly allow me to correct my errors of presentation, I can simply speak, and fix anything I say wrong as it comes up.
Which, in turn, means that I can learn from a lot of people who would not want to speak to me otherwise.
Again: I completely agree that you should make your best effort to understand what other people actually mean. I do not call this charity—it sounds like SOP and “just don’t be an idiot yourself” to me.