I also don’t think it’s useful to try and learn much about pronouns qua pronouns social battles over them. Using the pronoun people ask you to use has become a proxy for all sorts of other tolerant/benevolent attitudes towards that person and the way they want to live their life, and to an even greater extent, refusing to do that is a proxy for thinking they should be ignored, or possibly reviled, or possibly killed.
I don’t think everyone proxies it that way—I know there are some people who are just old-fashioned, or passionate about prescriptive grammar, or have essentialist beliefs about gender but are libertarian about others’ behavior. I think that if everyone had very high confidence that someone not using the pronouns they requested meant that at worst that person mildly disapproves of them but would still actively defend their civil + legal + human rights, there would probably be a lot less of the handwringing you mention, and we’d be able to learn a lot more about the fundamental intrinsic meaning of pronouns.
Using the pronoun people ask you to use has become a proxy for all sorts of other tolerant/benevolent attitudes towards that person and the way they want to live their life, and to an even greater extent, refusing to do that is a proxy for thinking they should be ignored, or possibly reviled, or possibly killed.
There’s an interesting mechanic here, a hyperstitious cascade. In certain educational environments, people are taught to use approved language with protected-class members. In that environment, anyone who uses forbidden language is, therefore, some kind of troublemaker. That then makes it somewhat less illegitimate for the most sensitive of those protected-class members to say they feel threatened when someone uses forbidden language. Which then makes it all the more important to teach people to use approved language, and have harsher enforcement on it. If this goes far enough, then we get to where one can make the case that unpunished usage of forbidden language constitutes a hostile environment, which would therefore drive out the protected classes and hence violate civil rights law.
I guess refusing to use someone’s preferred pronouns is weak Bayesian evidence for wanting to have them killed, but the conclusion is so unlikely it’s probably not appropriate to raise it to the level of serious consideration.
Depends on the context. There are definitely contexts where a white man says n***** and it gives me the sense that he at least fantasizes about killing African Americans.
Similar contexts do occur with trans people and certain groups of white men.
If you were occasionally the target of such veiled threats, it might start becoming hard not to lump less directly threatening instances of similar-ish behavior in with the truly threatening.
I also don’t think it’s useful to try and learn much about pronouns qua pronouns social battles over them. Using the pronoun people ask you to use has become a proxy for all sorts of other tolerant/benevolent attitudes towards that person and the way they want to live their life, and to an even greater extent, refusing to do that is a proxy for thinking they should be ignored, or possibly reviled, or possibly killed.
I don’t think everyone proxies it that way—I know there are some people who are just old-fashioned, or passionate about prescriptive grammar, or have essentialist beliefs about gender but are libertarian about others’ behavior. I think that if everyone had very high confidence that someone not using the pronouns they requested meant that at worst that person mildly disapproves of them but would still actively defend their civil + legal + human rights, there would probably be a lot less of the handwringing you mention, and we’d be able to learn a lot more about the fundamental intrinsic meaning of pronouns.
There’s an interesting mechanic here, a hyperstitious cascade. In certain educational environments, people are taught to use approved language with protected-class members. In that environment, anyone who uses forbidden language is, therefore, some kind of troublemaker. That then makes it somewhat less illegitimate for the most sensitive of those protected-class members to say they feel threatened when someone uses forbidden language. Which then makes it all the more important to teach people to use approved language, and have harsher enforcement on it. If this goes far enough, then we get to where one can make the case that unpunished usage of forbidden language constitutes a hostile environment, which would therefore drive out the protected classes and hence violate civil rights law.
I guess refusing to use someone’s preferred pronouns is weak Bayesian evidence for wanting to have them killed, but the conclusion is so unlikely it’s probably not appropriate to raise it to the level of serious consideration.
Depends on the context. There are definitely contexts where a white man says n***** and it gives me the sense that he at least fantasizes about killing African Americans. Similar contexts do occur with trans people and certain groups of white men. If you were occasionally the target of such veiled threats, it might start becoming hard not to lump less directly threatening instances of similar-ish behavior in with the truly threatening.