Thanks for the explanation and extra details! Here are some ideas:
Maybe the strategy “I will achieve X and then I will feel happy” is wrong in principle. Maybe happiness can only be achieved as a side effect of something you genuinely care about. Like, if you want to do X for X’s sake, that can make you happy—maybe not immediately, because in my experience the emotion felt right after accomplishing something is usually “I am so tired”—but later, when you think “hey, X is done”. However, if you don’t really care about X and only do it because you believe it will make you happy, it probably won’t. If you don’t care about X, why should the thought “X is done” make you happy?
If that’s the case, then you should expect that no achievement will make you happy. Which doesn’t make them worthless, because they can still bring a lot of “okayness” into your life. Like, having enough food is better than starving, no doubt, but you can’t eat yourself into happiness. Similarly, being rich is better than being poor; being educated better than being uneducated; etc. But also need something that makes you happy here and now—either some hobby (that makes you happy by doing it, not because you expect some benefits in far future), or maybe something like loving-kindness meditation.
Or maybe you’re just following the wrong goals. You do what the society in general, your parents, or your friends would approve of (“education, career, significant other” sounds like a generic template), instead of the idiosyncratic things you desire.
Or maybe you have a model where achieving X automatically brings you some outcome (something like: “if I get a top MBA, people will treat me with respect”), and it simply didn’t turn out like that: you got MBA, but the average respect you get didn’t increase; also, you keep getting higher in the corporate ladder, but you don’t actually feel more powerful than before (you may get more power over other people, but the power someone else has over you does not decrease).
One possibility is that you are doing it wrong. Getting higher on the ladder doesn’t give you more freedom; but working part-time or retiring early could. Still, getting higher on the ladder—assuming it means greater income, and assuming you invest the extra income properly—could bring you closer towards the freedom, so it is not bad in principle; it just won’t happen automatically, you need to be strategic about it.
Also, emotions won’t come automatically. If you want to get respect for having an MBA, you need to find an environment where people will respect you for having an MBA. The bad news is that it’s not one of those places where everyone has an MBA; which is probably where you spend most time now. The good news is that 99.99% of population does not have an MBA, so maybe you just need to take a walk outside your bubble. (High-school reunion?)
Summary:
do the things you genuinely care about;
if you follow the standard template, at least understand what is your endgame (how exactly accomplishing the standard thing will translate to something you genuinely care about);
work with your emotions directly (do the things that make you immediately happy)
Thanks for the explanation and extra details! Here are some ideas:
Maybe the strategy “I will achieve X and then I will feel happy” is wrong in principle. Maybe happiness can only be achieved as a side effect of something you genuinely care about. Like, if you want to do X for X’s sake, that can make you happy—maybe not immediately, because in my experience the emotion felt right after accomplishing something is usually “I am so tired”—but later, when you think “hey, X is done”. However, if you don’t really care about X and only do it because you believe it will make you happy, it probably won’t. If you don’t care about X, why should the thought “X is done” make you happy?
If that’s the case, then you should expect that no achievement will make you happy. Which doesn’t make them worthless, because they can still bring a lot of “okayness” into your life. Like, having enough food is better than starving, no doubt, but you can’t eat yourself into happiness. Similarly, being rich is better than being poor; being educated better than being uneducated; etc. But also need something that makes you happy here and now—either some hobby (that makes you happy by doing it, not because you expect some benefits in far future), or maybe something like loving-kindness meditation.
Or maybe you’re just following the wrong goals. You do what the society in general, your parents, or your friends would approve of (“education, career, significant other” sounds like a generic template), instead of the idiosyncratic things you desire.
Or maybe you have a model where achieving X automatically brings you some outcome (something like: “if I get a top MBA, people will treat me with respect”), and it simply didn’t turn out like that: you got MBA, but the average respect you get didn’t increase; also, you keep getting higher in the corporate ladder, but you don’t actually feel more powerful than before (you may get more power over other people, but the power someone else has over you does not decrease).
One possibility is that you are doing it wrong. Getting higher on the ladder doesn’t give you more freedom; but working part-time or retiring early could. Still, getting higher on the ladder—assuming it means greater income, and assuming you invest the extra income properly—could bring you closer towards the freedom, so it is not bad in principle; it just won’t happen automatically, you need to be strategic about it.
Also, emotions won’t come automatically. If you want to get respect for having an MBA, you need to find an environment where people will respect you for having an MBA. The bad news is that it’s not one of those places where everyone has an MBA; which is probably where you spend most time now. The good news is that 99.99% of population does not have an MBA, so maybe you just need to take a walk outside your bubble. (High-school reunion?)
Summary:
do the things you genuinely care about;
if you follow the standard template, at least understand what is your endgame (how exactly accomplishing the standard thing will translate to something you genuinely care about);
work with your emotions directly (do the things that make you immediately happy)