Yes, it’s super frustrating when people ignore obviously (to you) good actions and or perform obviously (to you) bad actions. They do have their good (to them) reasons to do so, conscious or subconscious. So do you. They might be wrong, or you might be wrong, or something else might be going on. Unless you are all seeing and all knowing, how can you tell? If you are so much smarter than they are, why are you then working/volunteering there, oughtn’t you be looking for a place where you can deal with your intellectual peers? And if you are not head and shoulders smarter, then how do you know that you are right and the action X is the right one, despite everyone else choosing action Y?
Following Scott’s recent and ongoing sequence, consider that there might be culture and traditions that have evolved over a long time that compel people to do Y instead of X, even if they agree that X is better than Y if the argument for X > Y that you are advocating is considered in isolation.
As your example of a meandering conversation shows, people are very different and we all succumb to the typical mind fallacy. Intentionally paying attention to people likely not thinking the way you do, not incentivised by the same things you are, not emotionally connecting to other people and events the same way you do may clarify in your mind why other people act the way the do. If not, asking questions with genuine interest and curiosity and without expressing opinions can get you some ways there.
I have been and am in a situation that feels similar to yours. Here is one example of many. My direct supervisor had refused to implement a data retrieval system that would (in my opinion) greatly speed up and simplify analyzing and solving customer issues. It would be at most a week or two of work. That was 4 years ago, and I’ve been mentioning that we ought to do it ASAP every couple of weeks since then. He never authorized it, and instead asked if I am done whining. Meanwhile we are wasting resources many times over and likely losing customers and sales because of the field issues that could have been resolved quickly. I am not 100% sure why he is doing (or not doing) it, and it is pointless to ask, because his stated reasons would not be the real ones. I have some inkling of what is going on in his mind. In part it is probably chasing rabbits instead of stags, since he has more to lose from a scheduled slippage in a new project than from a slippage due to field support here and there, ostensibly outside his control. And maybe his strategy is the rational one, given the situation.
Let me add one more strategy to your list, though: dress stags as rabbits to get the buy in. This may sound disingenuous, but the reality is that with enough concerted effort a caught stag is later perceived as an unusually fat rabbit. People generally remember the payoff, not the effort, as long as things go smoothly.
dress stags as rabbits to get the buy in. This may sound disingenuous, but the reality is that with enough concerted effort a caught stag is later perceived as an unusually fat rabbit.
Can you give an example of what this might look like?
We are all easily convinced of what we want to hear. Elliott wants to get ahead. Just scared a lot to take a chance. And perception is reality, literally. So if you help people see the benefits of cooperating (hunting a stag, taking a chance), and the drawbacks of sticking with rabbits (say, still being stuck in the muck), then their risk assessment changes and you may get them on your side. Or, alternatively, if Elliott has nothing to lose, he might go for a desperate heroic effort.
A few points:
Yes, it’s super frustrating when people ignore obviously (to you) good actions and or perform obviously (to you) bad actions. They do have their good (to them) reasons to do so, conscious or subconscious. So do you. They might be wrong, or you might be wrong, or something else might be going on. Unless you are all seeing and all knowing, how can you tell? If you are so much smarter than they are, why are you then working/volunteering there, oughtn’t you be looking for a place where you can deal with your intellectual peers? And if you are not head and shoulders smarter, then how do you know that you are right and the action X is the right one, despite everyone else choosing action Y?
Following Scott’s recent and ongoing sequence, consider that there might be culture and traditions that have evolved over a long time that compel people to do Y instead of X, even if they agree that X is better than Y if the argument for X > Y that you are advocating is considered in isolation.
As your example of a meandering conversation shows, people are very different and we all succumb to the typical mind fallacy. Intentionally paying attention to people likely not thinking the way you do, not incentivised by the same things you are, not emotionally connecting to other people and events the same way you do may clarify in your mind why other people act the way the do. If not, asking questions with genuine interest and curiosity and without expressing opinions can get you some ways there.
I have been and am in a situation that feels similar to yours. Here is one example of many. My direct supervisor had refused to implement a data retrieval system that would (in my opinion) greatly speed up and simplify analyzing and solving customer issues. It would be at most a week or two of work. That was 4 years ago, and I’ve been mentioning that we ought to do it ASAP every couple of weeks since then. He never authorized it, and instead asked if I am done whining. Meanwhile we are wasting resources many times over and likely losing customers and sales because of the field issues that could have been resolved quickly. I am not 100% sure why he is doing (or not doing) it, and it is pointless to ask, because his stated reasons would not be the real ones. I have some inkling of what is going on in his mind. In part it is probably chasing rabbits instead of stags, since he has more to lose from a scheduled slippage in a new project than from a slippage due to field support here and there, ostensibly outside his control. And maybe his strategy is the rational one, given the situation.
Let me add one more strategy to your list, though: dress stags as rabbits to get the buy in. This may sound disingenuous, but the reality is that with enough concerted effort a caught stag is later perceived as an unusually fat rabbit. People generally remember the payoff, not the effort, as long as things go smoothly.
Can you give an example of what this might look like?
We are all easily convinced of what we want to hear. Elliott wants to get ahead. Just scared a lot to take a chance. And perception is reality, literally. So if you help people see the benefits of cooperating (hunting a stag, taking a chance), and the drawbacks of sticking with rabbits (say, still being stuck in the muck), then their risk assessment changes and you may get them on your side. Or, alternatively, if Elliott has nothing to lose, he might go for a desperate heroic effort.