I have been diagnosed with ADHD, which in my case leans heavy into the “inattentive” presentation, and less into the hyperactive. Go see a psychologist. They have a diagnostic test, which for me was administered over two days.
ADHD often comes with comorbidities. In my case that’s stress-induced depression. When I’m under a persistent stress, within a week it two I’ll be kicked into a depression, where I suffer from anhedonia.
I take medication for both, and it’s changed my life. I still experience my symptoms, but they have a reduced impact on my life. Getting the diagnosis was very validating. I used to do a lot of negative self-talk, and looked at my symptoms as personal failings. It was only after my son was diagnosed early in his school career that I got myself tested, since we share many symptoms.
Now I understand my brain better, and I try to be kind and patient with myself as I also do with my son. I don’t apologize for my symptoms now (unless I inadvertently hurt someone), but instead thank those affected for their patience.
ADHD is hard sometimes, but my coping mechanisms can actually be an advantage at times. For instance, I’m a software engineer by trade, and because of my poor working-memory, I have built up discipline to code in such a way as to minimize a mental context (Kolomogrov complexity is generally a good proxy) for any bit of code. This isn’t just good for me, but is actually good for everyone I work with. Nested code in my bane, so I aggressively avoid it.
Being diagnosed also helped me be a better father. I don’t chastise my son when it takes him an hour and a half to do the dishes, with several reminders to stay on task. Instead, I focus on developing coping mechanisms and coaching, while practicing active patience. (It’s really annoying having to keep telling him to stay on task sometimes, but I know it’s not intentional.)
Other mitigation strategies involve not relying on my brain for things that it’s not good at. I use timers and my calendar to mitigate my poor temporal depth perception. I used reminders a lot because, I am terrible at recalling important information at some predetermined time or under some condition.
Another big helper is a mnemonic I developed: “‘Later’ is a lie.” I have learned from experience, if I want something done, it’s best if I do it immediately, rather than lying to myself (or others) that I’ll do it later. Too often I simply fail to recall that I need to do it at the appropriate time. This also helps my son.
I’m not sure if I answered your questions very well. This is a complex issue, requiring complex mitigation strategies along-side medical interventions. Everyone’s presentations are a bit different, requiring different interventions. A doctor can help you develop them. Be kind and patient with yourself.
Oh! Check out How to ADHD on YouTube. The woman that makes them is adorable and informative. I’ve gotten a lot of good out of her videos.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD, which in my case leans heavy into the “inattentive” presentation, and less into the hyperactive. Go see a psychologist. They have a diagnostic test, which for me was administered over two days.
ADHD often comes with comorbidities. In my case that’s stress-induced depression. When I’m under a persistent stress, within a week it two I’ll be kicked into a depression, where I suffer from anhedonia.
I take medication for both, and it’s changed my life. I still experience my symptoms, but they have a reduced impact on my life. Getting the diagnosis was very validating. I used to do a lot of negative self-talk, and looked at my symptoms as personal failings. It was only after my son was diagnosed early in his school career that I got myself tested, since we share many symptoms.
Now I understand my brain better, and I try to be kind and patient with myself as I also do with my son. I don’t apologize for my symptoms now (unless I inadvertently hurt someone), but instead thank those affected for their patience.
ADHD is hard sometimes, but my coping mechanisms can actually be an advantage at times. For instance, I’m a software engineer by trade, and because of my poor working-memory, I have built up discipline to code in such a way as to minimize a mental context (Kolomogrov complexity is generally a good proxy) for any bit of code. This isn’t just good for me, but is actually good for everyone I work with. Nested code in my bane, so I aggressively avoid it.
Being diagnosed also helped me be a better father. I don’t chastise my son when it takes him an hour and a half to do the dishes, with several reminders to stay on task. Instead, I focus on developing coping mechanisms and coaching, while practicing active patience. (It’s really annoying having to keep telling him to stay on task sometimes, but I know it’s not intentional.)
Other mitigation strategies involve not relying on my brain for things that it’s not good at. I use timers and my calendar to mitigate my poor temporal depth perception. I used reminders a lot because, I am terrible at recalling important information at some predetermined time or under some condition.
Another big helper is a mnemonic I developed: “‘Later’ is a lie.” I have learned from experience, if I want something done, it’s best if I do it immediately, rather than lying to myself (or others) that I’ll do it later. Too often I simply fail to recall that I need to do it at the appropriate time. This also helps my son.
I’m not sure if I answered your questions very well. This is a complex issue, requiring complex mitigation strategies along-side medical interventions. Everyone’s presentations are a bit different, requiring different interventions. A doctor can help you develop them. Be kind and patient with yourself.
Oh! Check out How to ADHD on YouTube. The woman that makes them is adorable and informative. I’ve gotten a lot of good out of her videos.