Additional minor tips on the swag/body language in condensed form...
English has this incredibly stupid phrase “suck in your gut.” This gives people the misleading impression that they need to draw up their diapraghm, and they end up effectively holding their breath. This is, obviously, kind of hard to maintain. What one actually needs to do is not “suck” but “pull” one’s gut in. This relies on the rectus and tranversus abdominus muscles and should have no effect on one’s ability to breath when done properly. This can be rather hard to master when one is not already in shape. My suggestion is to work on pulling your spinal column straight from both the back (erector spinae) and front (abdominus) muscles simultaneously. Imagine a force simultaneously pulling your tailbone straight down, and the top of your head straight up, and tense your middle to maintain that elongation.
Eye contact is hard. Fortunately, from more than a couple feet away, no one can tell that you’re staring at their forehead or the bridge of their nose rather than into their eyes. Looking at the forehead has the additional advantage of forcing one’s chin higher; women find men more attractive when looking at the male face from below. Even if you’re not making eye contact, when just walking down the street, it’s good to practice looking straight forward or even slightly upward, not at one’s feet as most introverts are inclined to do. This is easier if one is already following the advice from the previous paragraph.
To get the taut, puffed-out chest effect requires using not the pectoral muscles but the back, by drawing the shoulder blades slightly together. This can be made more natural by practicing standing/walking with the palms of the hands facing forward.
Eye contact is hard. Fortunately, from more than a couple feet away, no one can tell that you’re staring at their forehead or the bridge of their nose rather than into their eyes.
Of course this only solves the “making eye contact when you pass women” problem and not the “making eye contact when you talk to women” problem. Fortunately, fear of eye contact seems so dumb and irrational that I suspect that despite its clearly firmly ingrained evolutionary roots, it’s relatively easy to completely eliminate after some initially painful practice period. So I suspect that the wisest thing to do is tackle the problem head on as soon as possible.
Imagine a force simultaneously pulling your tailbone straight down, and the top of your head straight up, and tense your middle to maintain that elongation.
Yes, don’t try to straighten your back with voluntary muscular contractions, find something to visualize or focus on that straightens out your posture.
I’ve found that focusing on particular points on my body tends to straighten out my posture. The best point I’ve found is that little notch in the middle of your collar bone at the base of your neck. Tends to relax the sternomastoids, putting the head in proper alignment with the spine, and the spine entire in proper alignment.
Likely different points have different effectiveness for different people, given what’s wrong with their posture in the first place.
Other points to try—ear holes, top of the head, sternum, sacrum. Try shifting from one to the other, and feel how your body adjusts.
Additional minor tips on the swag/body language in condensed form...
English has this incredibly stupid phrase “suck in your gut.” This gives people the misleading impression that they need to draw up their diapraghm, and they end up effectively holding their breath. This is, obviously, kind of hard to maintain. What one actually needs to do is not “suck” but “pull” one’s gut in. This relies on the rectus and tranversus abdominus muscles and should have no effect on one’s ability to breath when done properly. This can be rather hard to master when one is not already in shape. My suggestion is to work on pulling your spinal column straight from both the back (erector spinae) and front (abdominus) muscles simultaneously. Imagine a force simultaneously pulling your tailbone straight down, and the top of your head straight up, and tense your middle to maintain that elongation.
Eye contact is hard. Fortunately, from more than a couple feet away, no one can tell that you’re staring at their forehead or the bridge of their nose rather than into their eyes. Looking at the forehead has the additional advantage of forcing one’s chin higher; women find men more attractive when looking at the male face from below. Even if you’re not making eye contact, when just walking down the street, it’s good to practice looking straight forward or even slightly upward, not at one’s feet as most introverts are inclined to do. This is easier if one is already following the advice from the previous paragraph.
To get the taut, puffed-out chest effect requires using not the pectoral muscles but the back, by drawing the shoulder blades slightly together. This can be made more natural by practicing standing/walking with the palms of the hands facing forward.
This all seems very useful advice, thank you!
Of course this only solves the “making eye contact when you pass women” problem and not the “making eye contact when you talk to women” problem. Fortunately, fear of eye contact seems so dumb and irrational that I suspect that despite its clearly firmly ingrained evolutionary roots, it’s relatively easy to completely eliminate after some initially painful practice period. So I suspect that the wisest thing to do is tackle the problem head on as soon as possible.
Yes, don’t try to straighten your back with voluntary muscular contractions, find something to visualize or focus on that straightens out your posture.
I’ve found that focusing on particular points on my body tends to straighten out my posture. The best point I’ve found is that little notch in the middle of your collar bone at the base of your neck. Tends to relax the sternomastoids, putting the head in proper alignment with the spine, and the spine entire in proper alignment.
Likely different points have different effectiveness for different people, given what’s wrong with their posture in the first place.
Other points to try—ear holes, top of the head, sternum, sacrum. Try shifting from one to the other, and feel how your body adjusts.