I think that losing weight + moving to a larger town + increasing income is all good advice, but I don’t think those things are easy or will give you the biggest bang for your buck.
One very easy thing you can do to increase your attractiveness is to change your goal from “short to medium-term sexual relationships” to love and commitment. I know you don’t really want to do that, but that is what most women are looking for. I know plenty of women who, as they get to their mid-thirties and are single or divorced, become more interested in commitment than any other feature, and end up with guys who do fairly poorly by many other measures of attractiveness.
The other thing that you need to do is to seek out women who are likely to be attracted to you, and be attracted to them. There are almost certainly plenty of women out there that would find you attractive (especially if you are willing to love them and commit to them). None of them are perfect. Probably none of them look like models. A lot of them might be divorced and/or already have children. A lot of them are overweight. I don’t know how it works in Italy but in the USA the best place to find them is online.
You should realize that most women have zero interest in you. That’s true for almost every man. Increasing your general attractiveness to anything below rock-star level probably won’t move the needle much for most women. Targeting the women who are already likely to be attracted to you is by far the best and easiest way for any man to get more sex.
You should realize that most women have zero interest in you.
ADB(partly)OC. If you mean “most women” literally, i.e. the majority of women (including e.g. menopausal ones), that’s undoubtedly true, but if you mean something like the near-totality of the single women likely to hang out in the same places as you … then that’s probably mostly only the case for men who haven’t even reaped for the very lowest-hanging fruits in terms of attractiveness. (And even if that does apply to you, alieving that just makes it worse—though deliberately keeping aliefs and beliefs separate is an Advanced Skill.)
OTOH, at least if polyamory isn’t widespread where you are, “zero interest in you” isn’t the threshold you care about, “less interest in you than in the other guys available” is.
I don’t know how it works in Italy but in the USA the best place to find them is online.
BTW: OkCupid isn’t very popular in Italy—there are very few people signed up there except in major cities, and even they are in large part foreigners. Try Badoo instead.
One very easy thing you can do to increase your attractiveness is to change your goal from “short to medium-term sexual relationships” to love and commitment.
Is this even possible? I mean, I’ve not chosen my current goal after careful planning, I just noticed that at the moment I’m attracted to short-term relationships, how would I go into changing that?
I am searching for shor-term, highly sexual relationships, should I just tell the girl I’m not?
None of them are perfect. Probably none of them look like models. A lot of them might be divorced and/or already have children. A lot of them are overweight. I don’t know how it works in Italy but in the USA the best place to find them is online.
Does this come from the ‘date in your league’ advice? Because I’ve been naturally attracted to somewhat overweight girls, I adore feminine curves, but I’ve never convinced them to date me. They too seemed to be more attracted to the fit or blue-eyes guy… perhaps they should realize to date in their league too.
When I tried online dating, about three-four years ago, there didn’t seem to be many women, at least in my area. Maybe the situation has changed now.
You should realize that most women have zero interest in you. That’s true for almost every man. Increasing your general attractiveness to anything below rock-star level probably won’t move the needle much for most women.
I probably don’t need rock-star level of available women. Indeed, that would have massive disutility. I just need say 2-3 girls who I can have fun with.
There are almost certainly plenty of women out there that would find you attractive (especially if you are willing to love them and commit to them). None of them are perfect.
I think that losing weight + moving to a larger town + increasing income is all good advice, but I don’t think those things are easy or will give you the biggest bang for your buck.
One very easy thing you can do to increase your attractiveness is to change your goal from “short to medium-term sexual relationships” to love and commitment. I know you don’t really want to do that, but that is what most women are looking for. I know plenty of women who, as they get to their mid-thirties and are single or divorced, become more interested in commitment than any other feature, and end up with guys who do fairly poorly by many other measures of attractiveness.
The other thing that you need to do is to seek out women who are likely to be attracted to you, and be attracted to them. There are almost certainly plenty of women out there that would find you attractive (especially if you are willing to love them and commit to them). None of them are perfect. Probably none of them look like models. A lot of them might be divorced and/or already have children. A lot of them are overweight. I don’t know how it works in Italy but in the USA the best place to find them is online.
You should realize that most women have zero interest in you. That’s true for almost every man. Increasing your general attractiveness to anything below rock-star level probably won’t move the needle much for most women. Targeting the women who are already likely to be attracted to you is by far the best and easiest way for any man to get more sex.
ADB(partly)OC. If you mean “most women” literally, i.e. the majority of women (including e.g. menopausal ones), that’s undoubtedly true, but if you mean something like the near-totality of the single women likely to hang out in the same places as you … then that’s probably mostly only the case for men who haven’t even reaped for the very lowest-hanging fruits in terms of attractiveness. (And even if that does apply to you, alieving that just makes it worse—though deliberately keeping aliefs and beliefs separate is an Advanced Skill.)
OTOH, at least if polyamory isn’t widespread where you are, “zero interest in you” isn’t the threshold you care about, “less interest in you than in the other guys available” is.
BTW: OkCupid isn’t very popular in Italy—there are very few people signed up there except in major cities, and even they are in large part foreigners. Try Badoo instead.
Is this even possible? I mean, I’ve not chosen my current goal after careful planning, I just noticed that at the moment I’m attracted to short-term relationships, how would I go into changing that? I am searching for shor-term, highly sexual relationships, should I just tell the girl I’m not?
Does this come from the ‘date in your league’ advice? Because I’ve been naturally attracted to somewhat overweight girls, I adore feminine curves, but I’ve never convinced them to date me. They too seemed to be more attracted to the fit or blue-eyes guy… perhaps they should realize to date in their league too.
When I tried online dating, about three-four years ago, there didn’t seem to be many women, at least in my area. Maybe the situation has changed now.
I probably don’t need rock-star level of available women. Indeed, that would have massive disutility. I just need say 2-3 girls who I can have fun with.
good points… specially: