I do think I know a lot about this, so I’ll try the style: be harsh, say what is priority and what ain’t, leave, hope for the best.
1) Don’t wait until you are thin to start optimizing your conversation, but indeed, loose weight as soon as possible.
2) Don’t move into a city where to get a girl you depend on a car if you don’t have a car. Everyone underestimates practical issues.
3) If getting strong by lifting weights is “pain” for you, do only shoulder sides and neck sides, all the rest of the exercise should be aerobic.
4) Make no mistake, getting thin is unbelievably hard for most people. Just to avoid going fat I go on the scale every single day at least once (Which works well for many, like learning every single day I eat pasta or chocolate or cookies, I wake up about 800 grams heavier...)
But here is the real advice:
For Long-terming Men: Stop freaking out about financial status. Find a place where you are among the great ones in something, specially kindness, dependability, physical constitution, and symmetry which guys think of less frequently than Successful startups or Tennis worldchampions. If you are hot, use short-term, women are particularly more prone to switching from short to long-term. Get a dog, show you are able and willing to take care of something unspeakably cute and adorable. Be ambitious in your projects, show passion. While ambitious and passionate, also make sure she realizes (truly) that you notice things about her no one else does, find out her values, talk about shared ones, and be non aggressively curious about all of them. Show her kindness in small gestures that need not cost a lot, such as time consuming hand-made presents. Test OkCupid and see if it works for you. Memorize details about her personality, assure her you can be loving specifically to her. Postpone sex a little bit. May sound hard, but is a reliable indicator that you won’t change her for the next that quickly. Rationally override any emotion you may have regarding her sexual behavior, show you are not agressive and jealous, thus making her “(be) (a)lieve unconsciously” that you will not kill her in an assault of hatred when she sleeps with hypothetical another man whose child will never exist and get some years of schooling from you. If you think you can tell the wheat from the chaff, separate the PUA stuff that works for long-term, if not, read softer confidence/influence/seduction material. Use oxytocin inducing media (TV series and romantic movies). Rest assured, there are more women looking for long-term men than the opposite, aid the odds by going places. Show sympathy, kindness (to others as well) and dependability whenever you can.
Which comes from using evolution for that
Just in case you need validation for this too, I read more evo psych then I do anything else, and despite a tendency to be heavy weighted (which is contained) I have had systematic success with going from about a 4 to an 8.5-9.0 attractive for ladies (for guys I used to be about 7, not sure where I stand currently because I’m near 98% straight these days, unfortunately). Say I’m 70% confident, from memory, that in an environment which is not where people care about wearing gucci, prada, versace, abercrombie, iron hair sticker, I can, over time, attract the most attractive women 90% of the time.
You say you are overweight and your hobbies indicate you are not the most gregarious person in town. I’d use long-terming behavior because short-terming behavior will not suit you that well (too large a behavioral distance) . But in any case, use the PUA stuff. Even if you can’t tell wheat from chaff, will still be good for you.
I wrote a text a few weeks ago about how to use evolution for that
I do think I know a lot about this, so I’ll try the style: be harsh, say what is priority and what ain’t, leave, hope for the best.
1) Don’t wait until you are thin to start optimizing your conversation, but indeed, loose weight as soon as possible. 2) Don’t move into a city where to get a girl you depend on a car if you don’t have a car. Everyone underestimates practical issues. 3) If getting strong by lifting weights is “pain” for you, do only shoulder sides and neck sides, all the rest of the exercise should be aerobic. 4) Make no mistake, getting thin is unbelievably hard for most people. Just to avoid going fat I go on the scale every single day at least once (Which works well for many, like learning every single day I eat pasta or chocolate or cookies, I wake up about 800 grams heavier...)
But here is the real advice:
Which comes from using evolution for that Just in case you need validation for this too, I read more evo psych then I do anything else, and despite a tendency to be heavy weighted (which is contained) I have had systematic success with going from about a 4 to an 8.5-9.0 attractive for ladies (for guys I used to be about 7, not sure where I stand currently because I’m near 98% straight these days, unfortunately). Say I’m 70% confident, from memory, that in an environment which is not where people care about wearing gucci, prada, versace, abercrombie, iron hair sticker, I can, over time, attract the most attractive women 90% of the time.
I have specifically said I’m searching for short-term relatioships. Advice on long term ones wouldn’t help, would they?
You say you are overweight and your hobbies indicate you are not the most gregarious person in town. I’d use long-terming behavior because short-terming behavior will not suit you that well (too large a behavioral distance) . But in any case, use the PUA stuff. Even if you can’t tell wheat from chaff, will still be good for you.
I’m very willing to change my behaviour. I don’t think it’s impossible, and it may be even easier than lose fat...
So any product will do? In any case, I’ll leave that for last, let’s see first what a better fitness level and a more sociable environment will bring.