...I was always able to believe there was just the tiniest chance that I might have formed the false memory…
…
From a rational point of view it’s not very sensible, but it seems to work okay.
A healthy skepticism about the reliability of memory is actually very rational (the subject of the worry is a different story). I’m rather good at remembering facts, but I’m positively terrible at remembering things like “when I leave I must take this item that I usually don’t”. I’ve tried constantly reminding myself, worrying that I’ll forget, and then I occasionally forget anyways. But this sort of memory is very easy to outsource, eg I can misplace my keys, shoes, or glasses on something and then there’s no way I’m forgetting it when I leave, nor do I have to worry. I’ve occasionally forgotten the basement lights on (kick door closed while carrying a basket of laundry, wouldn’t be noticed until next visit to basement or outside at night), now I never close the basement door until I turn off the lights. My street has alternate parking, and I set an alarm so I won’t forget.
If I worried excessively about the state of my door, I’d keep a binary toggle on my keychain, and toggle it when I locked/unlocked the door. Dunno if that would work for OCD, I’m only absent-minded. But locking the door would be a habit with a reliable trigger. I can fight any specific case of absentmindedness easily with a habit and reliable trigger.
A healthy skepticism about the reliability of memory is actually very rational (the subject of the worry is a different story). I’m rather good at remembering facts, but I’m positively terrible at remembering things like “when I leave I must take this item that I usually don’t”. I’ve tried constantly reminding myself, worrying that I’ll forget, and then I occasionally forget anyways. But this sort of memory is very easy to outsource, eg I can misplace my keys, shoes, or glasses on something and then there’s no way I’m forgetting it when I leave, nor do I have to worry. I’ve occasionally forgotten the basement lights on (kick door closed while carrying a basket of laundry, wouldn’t be noticed until next visit to basement or outside at night), now I never close the basement door until I turn off the lights. My street has alternate parking, and I set an alarm so I won’t forget.
If I worried excessively about the state of my door, I’d keep a binary toggle on my keychain, and toggle it when I locked/unlocked the door. Dunno if that would work for OCD, I’m only absent-minded. But locking the door would be a habit with a reliable trigger. I can fight any specific case of absentmindedness easily with a habit and reliable trigger.