Right, but the only way I see to keep that preference and still deal with utility monsters is to encourage them to not be utility monsters. Which in practice comes off surprisingly callous.
In practice, the way I deal with it is to respect their preferences and expect them to respect mine, and to discontinue interaction with people who reject that exchange. I find that strategy has worked OK for me. Others’ mileage may, of course, vary.
I can believe that you are wrong to be hurt by something, and still prefer that you not be hurt.
Right, but the only way I see to keep that preference and still deal with utility monsters is to encourage them to not be utility monsters. Which in practice comes off surprisingly callous.
In practice, the way I deal with it is to respect their preferences and expect them to respect mine, and to discontinue interaction with people who reject that exchange. I find that strategy has worked OK for me. Others’ mileage may, of course, vary.