The first somewhat contrary thing that comes to mind here is whether visible spending that looks like a status grab or is class-dissonant would also impact your social capital in terms of being able to source (loaned or gifted) money from your networks in case of a crunch or shock. If your friends will feel “well I sure would’ve liked to have X, but I was the ‘responsible’ one and you weren’t, so now I’m not going to put money in when you’re down” and that’s what you rely on as a safety net, then maybe you do need to pay attention to that kind of self-policing. If you’re reliant on less personal sources of credit, insurance, etc. or if your financially relevant social groups are themselves receptive to your ideas on not caring as much about class policing, then the self-policing can be mainly self-sabotage like you say.
The first somewhat contrary thing that comes to mind here is whether visible spending that looks like a status grab or is class-dissonant would also impact your social capital in terms of being able to source (loaned or gifted) money from your networks in case of a crunch or shock. If your friends will feel “well I sure would’ve liked to have X, but I was the ‘responsible’ one and you weren’t, so now I’m not going to put money in when you’re down” and that’s what you rely on as a safety net, then maybe you do need to pay attention to that kind of self-policing. If you’re reliant on less personal sources of credit, insurance, etc. or if your financially relevant social groups are themselves receptive to your ideas on not caring as much about class policing, then the self-policing can be mainly self-sabotage like you say.
That makes sense as a consideration for some people. I suspect that it’s usually a pretty small one though.