I’d focus on noticing the Soldier mindset (“arguments as soldiers”). Find a personal “cherished belief” that would be really hard to let go of, and have your partner poke at it. Not a token belief, but a real one. Then notice your emotional state and the inner need to fight for it. That’s the mental state one wants to remember, “but I am right and this is true!” and notice when it happens in other situations.
I’d focus on noticing the Soldier mindset (“arguments as soldiers”). Find a personal “cherished belief” that would be really hard to let go of, and have your partner poke at it. Not a token belief, but a real one. Then notice your emotional state and the inner need to fight for it. That’s the mental state one wants to remember, “but I am right and this is true!” and notice when it happens in other situations.