Oh I know that PUA don’t care about long term relationships.
Yes they do. You are attacking an entire culture of straw.
People who are bad at relationships are probably also bad at picking the right kind of girl for them. So they might well get into relationships that are damaging financially and emotionally. E.g. don’t pick a clingy woman if you need to be away for long periods of time for work.
People practising PUA methods tend to improve their ability to navigate personal relationships in those areas too. It is the sort of thing that is often covered or responded to by trainers and tends to go hand in hand with the concept of ‘inner game’.
Oh I know that PUA don’t care about long term relationships.
Yes they do. You are attacking an entire culture of straw.
Okay that may have been an unfairly broad brush.
It seems to be a tiny fraction of what this forum talks about. And from what I can read it is after the fact questions/advice rather than how to pick the woman with the right personality to start with.
Well, the relationships forum with it’s 9k posts is about a tenth the size of the general questions forum, and about a third the size of the approaching/opening forum.
Yes, there are some cynical ideas about relationships in the community, and there is plenty of support for men who just want to play the field for now. And actually, considering that many men in the seduction community have either very little experience with women or are recovering from a bad breakup, it may be smart to wait a while before jumping into a long-term relationship with the first women who is nice to them. PUAs are interested in relationships, but they want to achieve a skillset so they have choices and don’t feel like they are settling for someone. As soon as PUAs get some skill and choices, they suddenly become a lot more selective. And the fact is that for most men, the space of women they are attracted to is much larger than the space of women who they are also interested in a relationship with.
I think a big reason for the disparity is that men who are learning how to be successful with women spend orders of magnitude more time “stuck” on problems in the early stages of interaction. It’s the same reason that people playing arcade games spend most of their time in the lower levels of the game. (Yes, I did just compare women to an arcade game. But I really do think it’s a good analogy for both men and women dating new partners, because so many processes follow a linear progression. I wonder what level “marriage” is?)
And from what I can read it is after the fact questions/advice rather than how to pick the woman with the right personality to start with.
PUAs do talk about this. It’s called “screening.” The sex guru David Shade notably emphasizes dating women with high self-esteem and methods of testing for it.
Doing a search on mASF pulls up about 800 posts with screening in the title. Here are a few that I found interesting:
Screening is in the category of “things that outsiders don’t think PUAs care about based on their initial impression, but which PUAs actually do talk about have a rich literature on, even if perhaps they should be talking about those topics more or in different ways.”
I think the maximal controvery reduction with minimal hamming distance would be replacing “don’t” with “doesn’t.” The average Pick Up Artist likely cares deeply about the direction of his eventual long term relationship; but Pick Up Artistry is focused on successfully starting relationships to a much greater extent than continuing or ending them.
Yes they do. You are attacking an entire culture of straw.
People practising PUA methods tend to improve their ability to navigate personal relationships in those areas too. It is the sort of thing that is often covered or responded to by trainers and tends to go hand in hand with the concept of ‘inner game’.
Okay that may have been an unfairly broad brush.
It seems to be a tiny fraction of what this forum talks about. And from what I can read it is after the fact questions/advice rather than how to pick the woman with the right personality to start with.
Well, the relationships forum with it’s 9k posts is about a tenth the size of the general questions forum, and about a third the size of the approaching/opening forum.
Yes, there are some cynical ideas about relationships in the community, and there is plenty of support for men who just want to play the field for now. And actually, considering that many men in the seduction community have either very little experience with women or are recovering from a bad breakup, it may be smart to wait a while before jumping into a long-term relationship with the first women who is nice to them. PUAs are interested in relationships, but they want to achieve a skillset so they have choices and don’t feel like they are settling for someone. As soon as PUAs get some skill and choices, they suddenly become a lot more selective. And the fact is that for most men, the space of women they are attracted to is much larger than the space of women who they are also interested in a relationship with.
I think a big reason for the disparity is that men who are learning how to be successful with women spend orders of magnitude more time “stuck” on problems in the early stages of interaction. It’s the same reason that people playing arcade games spend most of their time in the lower levels of the game. (Yes, I did just compare women to an arcade game. But I really do think it’s a good analogy for both men and women dating new partners, because so many processes follow a linear progression. I wonder what level “marriage” is?)
PUAs do talk about this. It’s called “screening.” The sex guru David Shade notably emphasizes dating women with high self-esteem and methods of testing for it.
Doing a search on mASF pulls up about 800 posts with screening in the title. Here are a few that I found interesting:
Screen for long-term
Screen self-esteem for relationships
The screening thread
The dangers of not screening
Screening out the unworthies
Screening is in the category of “things that outsiders don’t think PUAs care about based on their initial impression, but which PUAs actually do talk about have a rich literature on, even if perhaps they should be talking about those topics more or in different ways.”
I think the maximal controvery reduction with minimal hamming distance would be replacing “don’t” with “doesn’t.” The average Pick Up Artist likely cares deeply about the direction of his eventual long term relationship; but Pick Up Artistry is focused on successfully starting relationships to a much greater extent than continuing or ending them.