I tend to separate the topics of “I prefer to be honest” and “I prefer others to be honest”. Both are true, but I approach them very differently. For myself, I pretty much set the default but allow that I’ll deviate if I think it’s long-term more valuable to do so.
For others, I try to approach it as “permission to be honest”. I let people know that I prefer the truth, and I will do my best not to punish them for delivering it efficiently. This is similar to Crocker’s Rules not being automatically symmetrical: I give you permission and encourage you to tell the truth to me, especially in private where there are fewer side-effects or non-participating (in Crocker’s rules) observers. I will only be bluntly, scrupulously truthful with you if you separately convince me that I may safely do so.
I tend to separate the topics of “I prefer to be honest” and “I prefer others to be honest”. Both are true, but I approach them very differently. For myself, I pretty much set the default but allow that I’ll deviate if I think it’s long-term more valuable to do so.
For others, I try to approach it as “permission to be honest”. I let people know that I prefer the truth, and I will do my best not to punish them for delivering it efficiently. This is similar to Crocker’s Rules not being automatically symmetrical: I give you permission and encourage you to tell the truth to me, especially in private where there are fewer side-effects or non-participating (in Crocker’s rules) observers. I will only be bluntly, scrupulously truthful with you if you separately convince me that I may safely do so.