One of the reasons feedback feels unpleasant is when it fails to engage with what actually interests you about the area. When you receive such feedback, there will then be the feeling of needing to respond for the sake of bystanders who might otherwise assume that there aren’t good responses to the feedback.
Yes, one of the frustrating things is getting criticism that just feels like “this is just not the conversation I want to be having.” I’m trying to discuss how this particular shade of green effects the aesthetics of this particular object, but you’re trying to talk to me about how green doesn’t actually exist, and blue is the only real color. It’s understandable but it’s just frustrating.
Thanks, this actually highlighted for me another aspect of it. Namely, if someone objects to a claim I did not make, if I respond it feels as though people might go with ‘he was actually tacitly making that claim.’ Calling out that I’m not making that claim explicitly should help here.
One of the reasons feedback feels unpleasant is when it fails to engage with what actually interests you about the area. When you receive such feedback, there will then be the feeling of needing to respond for the sake of bystanders who might otherwise assume that there aren’t good responses to the feedback.
Yes, one of the frustrating things is getting criticism that just feels like “this is just not the conversation I want to be having.” I’m trying to discuss how this particular shade of green effects the aesthetics of this particular object, but you’re trying to talk to me about how green doesn’t actually exist, and blue is the only real color. It’s understandable but it’s just frustrating.
I find that sort of feedback more palatable when they start with something like “This is not related to your main point but...”
I am more OK with talking about tangents when the commenter understands that it’s a tangent.
I wonder if there’s a good way to call out this sort of feedback? I might start trying something like
(Perhaps that comes across as rude? I’m not sure.)
Thanks, this actually highlighted for me another aspect of it. Namely, if someone objects to a claim I did not make, if I respond it feels as though people might go with ‘he was actually tacitly making that claim.’ Calling out that I’m not making that claim explicitly should help here.