I think a compromise position might work for me. Maybe you too.
Turn off the pictures. Read profiles. Then turn on the pictures.
Filter first on other traits that you can glean from text, then see if you find the person physically attractive. Likely many profiles that you would have passed by on the basic of first impressions on the photos will look different to you once you’ve found them interesting and invested some hope in them. I’d still turn on the pictures, because being physically attracted to my partner is important to me, and I think to most everyone.
And by the way, I think the downvotes are unwarranted. You brought up a couple of decent points about the importance of looks and social competition relative to a satisfying relationship.
But I’d add to your comments that the commoditization of partners goes beyond looks to intelligence, education, career, hobbies, wealth—there’s an endless list of social status and value markers that people have in their heads about “suitable” partners. People look for a bundle of “objective values” that they feel matches or exceeds their own. instead of a person they take joy in and love.
I think a compromise position might work for me. Maybe you too.
Turn off the pictures. Read profiles. Then turn on the pictures.
Filter first on other traits that you can glean from text, then see if you find the person physically attractive. Likely many profiles that you would have passed by on the basic of first impressions on the photos will look different to you once you’ve found them interesting and invested some hope in them. I’d still turn on the pictures, because being physically attracted to my partner is important to me, and I think to most everyone.
And by the way, I think the downvotes are unwarranted. You brought up a couple of decent points about the importance of looks and social competition relative to a satisfying relationship.
But I’d add to your comments that the commoditization of partners goes beyond looks to intelligence, education, career, hobbies, wealth—there’s an endless list of social status and value markers that people have in their heads about “suitable” partners. People look for a bundle of “objective values” that they feel matches or exceeds their own. instead of a person they take joy in and love.