Often, people like that will respond well to criticism about X and Y but not about Z.
One (dark-artsy) aspect to add here is that the first time you ask somebody for criticism, you’re managing more than your general identity, you’re also managing your interaction norms with that person. You’re giving them permission to criticize you (or sometimes, even think critically about you for the first time), creating common knowledge that there does exist a perspective from which it’s okay/expected for them to do that. This is playing with the charity they normally extend to you, which might mean that your words and plans will be given less attention than before, even though there might not be any specific criticism in their head.This is especially relevant for low-legibility/fluid hierarchies, which might collapse and impede functioning from the resulting misalignment, perhaps not unlike your own fears of being “crushed”, but at the org level.
Although it’s usually clear that you’d want to get feedback rather than manage this (at least, I think so), it’s important to notice as one kind of anxiety surrounding criticism. This is separate from any narcissistic worries about status, it can be a real systemic worry when you’re acting prosocially.
One (dark-artsy) aspect to add here is that the first time you ask somebody for criticism, you’re managing more than your general identity, you’re also managing your interaction norms with that person. You’re giving them permission to criticize you (or sometimes, even think critically about you for the first time), creating common knowledge that there does exist a perspective from which it’s okay/expected for them to do that. This is playing with the charity they normally extend to you, which might mean that your words and plans will be given less attention than before, even though there might not be any specific criticism in their head. This is especially relevant for low-legibility/fluid hierarchies, which might collapse and impede functioning from the resulting misalignment, perhaps not unlike your own fears of being “crushed”, but at the org level.
Although it’s usually clear that you’d want to get feedback rather than manage this (at least, I think so), it’s important to notice as one kind of anxiety surrounding criticism. This is separate from any narcissistic worries about status, it can be a real systemic worry when you’re acting prosocially.