I had this problem a lot growing up. It’s significantly lessened now, but just the other day I realized I was taking on too many responsibilities because I was stressed about one specific project and was distracting myself from it with other projects that I also procrastinated on. I suppose I was working myself into a position where I had too many projects that any one person could ask me to do any specific one of them; I have all the others to work on. I was able to get myself out of this hole by working on the project that was the main source of the stress.
Prior to this, growing up, there was only one thought that made me agree to anything: “I want to please everyone.”
What snapped me out of this was one of the most maturing events in my life: I was told that not doing something for someone might disappoint them, but saying I would and then not doing it would be even more disappointing. That is, the honesty on the matter is more valuable than the emotional response of your agreeing to do it. I mean yes, it’s obvious now, but to that kid that wanted to please everyone all the time, it made sense to take on tasks that I really had no actual intent of accomplishing. Convincing yourself that making the promise before making the intent to carry out the promise will result in you making the intent to carry out the promise is all too easy. It’s a lot more difficult to commit post-promise-statement than you might think.
I had this problem a lot growing up. It’s significantly lessened now, but just the other day I realized I was taking on too many responsibilities because I was stressed about one specific project and was distracting myself from it with other projects that I also procrastinated on. I suppose I was working myself into a position where I had too many projects that any one person could ask me to do any specific one of them; I have all the others to work on. I was able to get myself out of this hole by working on the project that was the main source of the stress.
Prior to this, growing up, there was only one thought that made me agree to anything: “I want to please everyone.”
What snapped me out of this was one of the most maturing events in my life: I was told that not doing something for someone might disappoint them, but saying I would and then not doing it would be even more disappointing. That is, the honesty on the matter is more valuable than the emotional response of your agreeing to do it. I mean yes, it’s obvious now, but to that kid that wanted to please everyone all the time, it made sense to take on tasks that I really had no actual intent of accomplishing. Convincing yourself that making the promise before making the intent to carry out the promise will result in you making the intent to carry out the promise is all too easy. It’s a lot more difficult to commit post-promise-statement than you might think.