What about being accurate about difficult behaviors which are at least theoretically easier to change than basic body features?
That sounds like a very good idea all else being equal. Focusing on what you can change is usually the best strategy and providing others with information about what they can change is probably going to be more useful.
I know a woman whose husband had been taking her office supplies, leaving her to think that her memory was seriously erratic. When she found her office supplies in her desk and confronted him about it, he told her off for violating his privacy.
Wow, that guy is a dick!
I don’t know whether she mentioned this during the breakup, but would it have been a good idea to do so?
I don’t see anything in it for her and nor do I see why she should feel any need to do things for his benefit. Do kind things for people who aren’t dicks.
My response in that situation would be to make no particularly extravagant reaction at the time of the incident, calmly make all the relevant preparations such as hiring a divorce lawyer and finding another place to live then break up via having someone else serve him a divorce notice. But I think most other people may be a little less extravagant in their responses (and less practical). My strategy when breaking up with a spouse for reasons like their diminished attractiveness or excessive more justifiable conflict would be entirely different and much more social.
I don’t see anything in it for her and nor do I see why she should feel any need to do things for his benefit. Do kind things for people who aren’t dicks.
If he’s capable of eventually acquiring a clue, this is also kindness to the people he’ll be dealing with later on. I don’t know whether the cost to her is worth the possible benefit.
That sounds like a very good idea all else being equal. Focusing on what you can change is usually the best strategy and providing others with information about what they can change is probably going to be more useful.
Wow, that guy is a dick!
I don’t see anything in it for her and nor do I see why she should feel any need to do things for his benefit. Do kind things for people who aren’t dicks.
My response in that situation would be to make no particularly extravagant reaction at the time of the incident, calmly make all the relevant preparations such as hiring a divorce lawyer and finding another place to live then break up via having someone else serve him a divorce notice. But I think most other people may be a little less extravagant in their responses (and less practical). My strategy when breaking up with a spouse for reasons like their diminished attractiveness or excessive more justifiable conflict would be entirely different and much more social.
If he’s capable of eventually acquiring a clue, this is also kindness to the people he’ll be dealing with later on. I don’t know whether the cost to her is worth the possible benefit.