Yo luke. Was wondering if I should PM you this but utilitarianism tells me I should post it here because some other poor soul like me could benefit from it.
Just a, well.. simple-looking question. I have an issue with conversations. I can talk with my guy friends well enough but sometimes the conversation dies with women. Either the conversation dies or when we’re in a group I simply have nothing to add because the conversation can get quite inane[1] or I’m simply out of words to say[2]. Or the opposite [3].
This isn’t how all conversations go—I had quite a few conversations which were very nice. Most of them were one-on-one (sadly, just the conversation) One even said she’s had fun but I suspect she was a nerd too so this was more fateful than anything. (Blame the glasses, I guess.)
[1] You probably had this when you’re in a group and the topic at hand seems so.. stupid, easily-solvable or anything that you personally wouldn’t dwell on for more than five minutes.
[2] Sometimes this happens. I want to try pulling something out of my ass just to see if hammering ice (breaking the ice seems to be too gentle in my view) would work.
[3] And this is a situation which is somewhat related to [2]. But sometimes I feel like I’m talking to myself or the wall or anything that isn’t really going to respond. It’s like the give-and-take part of the conversation is not there at all.
[4] There waasn’t really a 4, but running quality control over this comment makes me remember a comment I read a looong time ago on a bodybuilding forum. The topic was about some guy who is trying to convince his friends that Mark Rippetoe’s program is fine and doing many reps isn’t going to help them get more muscle mass. The forum admin waas quite active and usually responded with about 8 items that should make them shut up and squat. The last one was a particularly funny, but interesting response: “Get better friends”. Now this is an rather interesting one because it could mean I’m going south despite wanting to go north. It almost as if the friends are a burden to him. I could go on but I think you got the point.
[5] Now there wasn’t really a 5 either but I think I’m a victim of the Fucking Fallacy, whereas a young man computes that attractive woman = we must get along. There are some other things like women being affected by what their friends think which is some cached thought I have. There’s a few others that don’t quite pop into my head. Back to the fallacy, the fact she’s attractive doesn’t mean we have (or at least have the theoretical ability) to get along. Bottom-line-way this means I should go for the narrow rather than broad appeal as you’ve mentioned in this post (http://lesswrong.com/lw/63i/rational_romantic_relationships_part_1/) But at the same time, I feel like something’s missing and I could definitely do better if I could find what it is.
Yo luke. Was wondering if I should PM you this but utilitarianism tells me I should post it here because some other poor soul like me could benefit from it.
Just a, well.. simple-looking question. I have an issue with conversations. I can talk with my guy friends well enough but sometimes the conversation dies with women. Either the conversation dies or when we’re in a group I simply have nothing to add because the conversation can get quite inane[1] or I’m simply out of words to say[2]. Or the opposite [3].
This isn’t how all conversations go—I had quite a few conversations which were very nice. Most of them were one-on-one (sadly, just the conversation) One even said she’s had fun but I suspect she was a nerd too so this was more fateful than anything. (Blame the glasses, I guess.)
[1] You probably had this when you’re in a group and the topic at hand seems so.. stupid, easily-solvable or anything that you personally wouldn’t dwell on for more than five minutes.
[2] Sometimes this happens. I want to try pulling something out of my ass just to see if hammering ice (breaking the ice seems to be too gentle in my view) would work.
[3] And this is a situation which is somewhat related to [2]. But sometimes I feel like I’m talking to myself or the wall or anything that isn’t really going to respond. It’s like the give-and-take part of the conversation is not there at all.
[4] There waasn’t really a 4, but running quality control over this comment makes me remember a comment I read a looong time ago on a bodybuilding forum. The topic was about some guy who is trying to convince his friends that Mark Rippetoe’s program is fine and doing many reps isn’t going to help them get more muscle mass. The forum admin waas quite active and usually responded with about 8 items that should make them shut up and squat. The last one was a particularly funny, but interesting response: “Get better friends”. Now this is an rather interesting one because it could mean I’m going south despite wanting to go north. It almost as if the friends are a burden to him. I could go on but I think you got the point.
[5] Now there wasn’t really a 5 either but I think I’m a victim of the Fucking Fallacy, whereas a young man computes that attractive woman = we must get along. There are some other things like women being affected by what their friends think which is some cached thought I have. There’s a few others that don’t quite pop into my head. Back to the fallacy, the fact she’s attractive doesn’t mean we have (or at least have the theoretical ability) to get along. Bottom-line-way this means I should go for the narrow rather than broad appeal as you’ve mentioned in this post (http://lesswrong.com/lw/63i/rational_romantic_relationships_part_1/) But at the same time, I feel like something’s missing and I could definitely do better if I could find what it is.