I have tried OkCupid, without much success. I sent out about messages to (about seven) women I found attractive, but I got no responses. Pretty disheartening at the time. In retrospect, I think my approach to these women and to my profile could have been optimized better.
I didn’t know OkCupid had such a reputation, though. Maybe I’ll give it another shot, especially after reading the advice in the linked thread on how to improve my profile. I think it’d be fantastic to meet a LessWrong-er (or someone of equivalent rationality) in my area.
Seven is a pretty small number. I’m not about to go through my entire log to check how many are to separate individuals, but my Sent box contains 466 messages. I’ve received more than half that many, but it took a lot more than seven messages before I learned to improve my profile and messages to get a reasonable response rate.
Interesting. 7 sounded small to me, but I’m pretty sure that 466 was way above anything I sent. Are you sure you are counting individual people sent and not each separate message which will include longer conversations? (Also how long have you been active on OkC?)
I’m counting individual messages, not individual people; I’ve definitely contacted fewer than 466 people, but without going through the whole list I can definitely say it’s been over a hundred individuals. I prefer to talk in real time rather than correspondence, so if I get along well with someone initially, I’ll progress to instant messaging and/or meeting in person.
I joined the site about four years ago, but I’ve only been active on and off, and disabled my account for about a year.
Honestly, 7 sounds like a fairly small number. I don’t remember how many people I messaged, but it was a lot more than that. Profile optimization seems to definitely help a lot. Also, one has to remember that females seem to be getting messaged a lot more than guys, so you generally need something in your message that stands out, especially showing that you read their profile and found something interesting.
I may be a biased source in regards to how effective this is. The last three people I’ve dated (including my now current, sort of long-term girlfriend) I met on OkCupid, although I think she messaged me first.
Reluctantly, I agree with you that seven women is fairly small set. Maybe my searches weren’t properly done or my standards were too high, but these were the only women I found attractive in my searching.
To my credit, I definitely did try to put something my message that stood out, especially something related to her profile. I think one of the errors in my messages was that I came off too strong.
Congratulations! I’m glad that the service is working for you. Gives me a bit of hope (=
Hey JoshuaZ.
I have tried OkCupid, without much success. I sent out about messages to (about seven) women I found attractive, but I got no responses. Pretty disheartening at the time. In retrospect, I think my approach to these women and to my profile could have been optimized better.
I didn’t know OkCupid had such a reputation, though. Maybe I’ll give it another shot, especially after reading the advice in the linked thread on how to improve my profile. I think it’d be fantastic to meet a LessWrong-er (or someone of equivalent rationality) in my area.
Seven is a pretty small number. I’m not about to go through my entire log to check how many are to separate individuals, but my Sent box contains 466 messages. I’ve received more than half that many, but it took a lot more than seven messages before I learned to improve my profile and messages to get a reasonable response rate.
.
Interesting. 7 sounded small to me, but I’m pretty sure that 466 was way above anything I sent. Are you sure you are counting individual people sent and not each separate message which will include longer conversations? (Also how long have you been active on OkC?)
I’m counting individual messages, not individual people; I’ve definitely contacted fewer than 466 people, but without going through the whole list I can definitely say it’s been over a hundred individuals. I prefer to talk in real time rather than correspondence, so if I get along well with someone initially, I’ll progress to instant messaging and/or meeting in person.
I joined the site about four years ago, but I’ve only been active on and off, and disabled my account for about a year.
Honestly, 7 sounds like a fairly small number. I don’t remember how many people I messaged, but it was a lot more than that. Profile optimization seems to definitely help a lot. Also, one has to remember that females seem to be getting messaged a lot more than guys, so you generally need something in your message that stands out, especially showing that you read their profile and found something interesting.
I may be a biased source in regards to how effective this is. The last three people I’ve dated (including my now current, sort of long-term girlfriend) I met on OkCupid, although I think she messaged me first.
Reluctantly, I agree with you that seven women is fairly small set. Maybe my searches weren’t properly done or my standards were too high, but these were the only women I found attractive in my searching.
To my credit, I definitely did try to put something my message that stood out, especially something related to her profile. I think one of the errors in my messages was that I came off too strong.
Congratulations! I’m glad that the service is working for you. Gives me a bit of hope (=