OK. I consider negotiable tokens to be the only definition of financially recompensed. An optional reduction of financial expense, on an individual level is simply personal budgeting.
In the case of any particular couple, how the work, paid or unpaid, is divided, I don’t really care. Unless the arrangement is a source of stress for that relationship.
I think that a gender-biased pay disparity can aggravate financial stress in heterosexual relationships. And I think that a high disparity in income level can cause a similar stress in any couple, no matter the actual gender or sexual orientation.
The questions of ‘how best can i contribute’ and ‘am I acting responsibly by choosing to contribute, unpaid, in the home while being supported (fully or partially) on someone else’s “dime” (long may it last)’ are difficult and sometimes conflicting questions, whether gender pay inequities are biased. Or irrelevant, because the couple are of the same gender.
Questions I wonder about but do not know the answers to:
How common are one-income households in either situation? How stable are one-income households compared to two income households? I’m pretty sure there’s quite a lot of data on heterosexuals.
Since gender bias probably exists, I wish we could compare it to data on homosexual couples, but they do not get the same social support or suffer the same social pressures… so I’m not sure how meaningful a comparison would be. But I’m still curious.
In the case of any particular couple, how the work, paid or unpaid, is divided, I don’t really care. Unless the arrangement is a source of stress for that relationship.
I agree.
In one of my dreams last night, I was living with a sorceress. She needed some reagents, and her friend on the moon wanted to use a human skeleton for some occult purpose. So she removed my first person perspective/spirit from my body and put it on the mantle across from the magic mirror, so I could see things that were going on. She then incinerated my flesh, leaving charred bones held together in human form by magic.
I then watched an Indiana Jones-style path animation of my skeleton going to the moon, and of magic supplies for my sorceress girlfriend being sent from there to Earth. Other stuff happened in the magic mirror, and eventually there was another path animation of my bones being sent back. My bones were magically cleaned, flesh was put on them, and my spirit was returned to my body.
Despite the fact that she didn’t ask my permission, I didn’t mind and wasn’t bothered by the events as they happened. In real life, I’m a different person and would probably mind such a thing.
My point is that whether something having to do with relative income or who does what in a relationship is a source of stress depends on the mindsets of the people in the relationship. If neither member of a couple minds acquiring goods or negotiable tokens by having one suddenly extrude the other’s soul, scorch their body until their bones are black, and lend them to friends, and they’re happier that way than they would be in less gruesome scenarios...that’s what works for them.
My point is that whether something having to do with relative income or who does what in a relationship is a source of stress depends on the mindsets of the people in the relationship. If neither member of a couple minds acquiring goods or negotiable tokens by having one suddenly extrude the other’s soul, scorch their body until their bones are black, and lend them to friends, and they’re happier that way than they would be in less gruesome scenarios...that’s what works for them.
It seems so obvious when you put it that way. (Upvoted for divine lunacy.)
I don’t want to get involved in the personal business between any two or three+ people, but I also do not mean to suggest that every arrangement that both parties agree to has a matching balance of stress and benefit to both parties. (Love your dream scenario! for me, that would totally be a nightmare.)
And I don’t think any specific gender causes the harm for a pattern of gender differences, like a bias to favor male employees because people report more satisfaction with male employees.
But with a gender-based pay inequity, which couples benefit most? gay men, straight people, or lesbians?
And should we care more about couples than we do about individuals, eg: single women? I don’t think anybody is suggesting this. But this is, in my mind, the primary problem with gender-based pay inequities, and ‘innocuous’ causes are no longer ‘innocuous’ if the harm to individuals is measurable and significant.
This was my understanding of the comment here, and was what I initially objected to.
OK. I consider negotiable tokens to be the only definition of financially recompensed. An optional reduction of financial expense, on an individual level is simply personal budgeting.
In the case of any particular couple, how the work, paid or unpaid, is divided, I don’t really care. Unless the arrangement is a source of stress for that relationship.
I think that a gender-biased pay disparity can aggravate financial stress in heterosexual relationships. And I think that a high disparity in income level can cause a similar stress in any couple, no matter the actual gender or sexual orientation.
The questions of ‘how best can i contribute’ and ‘am I acting responsibly by choosing to contribute, unpaid, in the home while being supported (fully or partially) on someone else’s “dime” (long may it last)’ are difficult and sometimes conflicting questions, whether gender pay inequities are biased. Or irrelevant, because the couple are of the same gender.
Questions I wonder about but do not know the answers to: How common are one-income households in either situation? How stable are one-income households compared to two income households? I’m pretty sure there’s quite a lot of data on heterosexuals.
Since gender bias probably exists, I wish we could compare it to data on homosexual couples, but they do not get the same social support or suffer the same social pressures… so I’m not sure how meaningful a comparison would be. But I’m still curious.
I agree.
In one of my dreams last night, I was living with a sorceress. She needed some reagents, and her friend on the moon wanted to use a human skeleton for some occult purpose. So she removed my first person perspective/spirit from my body and put it on the mantle across from the magic mirror, so I could see things that were going on. She then incinerated my flesh, leaving charred bones held together in human form by magic.
I then watched an Indiana Jones-style path animation of my skeleton going to the moon, and of magic supplies for my sorceress girlfriend being sent from there to Earth. Other stuff happened in the magic mirror, and eventually there was another path animation of my bones being sent back. My bones were magically cleaned, flesh was put on them, and my spirit was returned to my body.
Despite the fact that she didn’t ask my permission, I didn’t mind and wasn’t bothered by the events as they happened. In real life, I’m a different person and would probably mind such a thing.
My point is that whether something having to do with relative income or who does what in a relationship is a source of stress depends on the mindsets of the people in the relationship. If neither member of a couple minds acquiring goods or negotiable tokens by having one suddenly extrude the other’s soul, scorch their body until their bones are black, and lend them to friends, and they’re happier that way than they would be in less gruesome scenarios...that’s what works for them.
It seems so obvious when you put it that way. (Upvoted for divine lunacy.)
I don’t want to get involved in the personal business between any two or three+ people, but I also do not mean to suggest that every arrangement that both parties agree to has a matching balance of stress and benefit to both parties. (Love your dream scenario! for me, that would totally be a nightmare.)
And I don’t think any specific gender causes the harm for a pattern of gender differences, like a bias to favor male employees because people report more satisfaction with male employees.
But with a gender-based pay inequity, which couples benefit most? gay men, straight people, or lesbians?
And should we care more about couples than we do about individuals, eg: single women? I don’t think anybody is suggesting this. But this is, in my mind, the primary problem with gender-based pay inequities, and ‘innocuous’ causes are no longer ‘innocuous’ if the harm to individuals is measurable and significant.