TBH, I skipped the last two sections because I think I picked up enough from the beginning. Things I think are valuable:
Take it slow in the beginning.
Learn to distinguish between fantasy and reality. Both are good, but they are different.
It is sometimes helpful to make a simple list of attributes of your prospective partner as you get to know them, then rank them and yourself 1-3. The point isn’t to be shitty or exclusive. It’s to realize what you don’t know about them very well yet. Only when you have a workable knowledge of them in every relevant category should you commit to a long term relationship, I think. Don’t make this into calculus.
Relationships end. It sucks. Feel your emotions fully, and honor the love and good things you shared with each other. Express gratitude for what is gone. Treat each other as well as you possibly can during and after a breakup, especially when you’re processing resentments. Be kind to them behind their back.
Following this advice is the best way I know to reconcile that sensible “shopping” attitude with feeling actual human emotions.
TBH, I skipped the last two sections because I think I picked up enough from the beginning. Things I think are valuable:
Take it slow in the beginning.
Learn to distinguish between fantasy and reality. Both are good, but they are different.
It is sometimes helpful to make a simple list of attributes of your prospective partner as you get to know them, then rank them and yourself 1-3. The point isn’t to be shitty or exclusive. It’s to realize what you don’t know about them very well yet. Only when you have a workable knowledge of them in every relevant category should you commit to a long term relationship, I think. Don’t make this into calculus.
Relationships end. It sucks. Feel your emotions fully, and honor the love and good things you shared with each other. Express gratitude for what is gone. Treat each other as well as you possibly can during and after a breakup, especially when you’re processing resentments. Be kind to them behind their back.
Following this advice is the best way I know to reconcile that sensible “shopping” attitude with feeling actual human emotions.