My strategy in trying to find a life partner has been to do as much filtering as possible early on, keeping my standards as high as I can manage. Lowered standards that let in hundreds of people don’t help, since I only need ONE. But I need to keep them low enough that my local options are still numerous enough for some trial and error.
Then, since I filtered strongly early on, I feel pretty comfortable committing to anyone who makes it past the first few months in a “Only break this off if you discover something that will make the relationship work poorly in the long-run” kind of way.
I had the initial thought that failure mode that this runs into, is that the people you end up dating for six months or so are more hesitant to commit for longer, since I’m more of an average person in their dating pool. But after reflecting for a moment, this seems not true. Most of my filters are lateral, such that adding or removing them gets me more or less OPTIONS, but not more or less in demand ones, in general.
My strategy in trying to find a life partner has been to do as much filtering as possible early on, keeping my standards as high as I can manage. Lowered standards that let in hundreds of people don’t help, since I only need ONE. But I need to keep them low enough that my local options are still numerous enough for some trial and error.
Then, since I filtered strongly early on, I feel pretty comfortable committing to anyone who makes it past the first few months in a “Only break this off if you discover something that will make the relationship work poorly in the long-run” kind of way.
I had the initial thought that failure mode that this runs into, is that the people you end up dating for six months or so are more hesitant to commit for longer, since I’m more of an average person in their dating pool. But after reflecting for a moment, this seems not true. Most of my filters are lateral, such that adding or removing them gets me more or less OPTIONS, but not more or less in demand ones, in general.