Convince industrialists to produce a million similar pens. Evil forces won’t know the true one.
Send a hundred accomplices to bury boxes in secret spots. One box contains the pen, only I know which.
Just use it and leave it around as I would any normal pen. Evil forces will think it a trick, but it’s actually just hiding there in plain sight.
Disassemble pen into components, give one component to each of a set of trusted accomplices across the world.
Launch it into orbit, inside a safe box, in such a way that it returns in about 50 years.
7 Find some dam or lake that predictably will run out of water in close to 50 years. Hide it at the bottom in a safe box.
8 Stage some hiding plot that seems kinda smart, and like I kinda tried, and get evil forces to steal pen from it, and act like “Oh no, I lost the pen, I didn’t predict this, awful”—while all along keeping a safe one in a locked safe in my room.
9 Devise some sort of safe algorithm where a chain of people can 1) each give the pen to each other, 2) no one knows the full extent of the chain, and 3) the chain is retraceable in 50 years for anyone who obtains some cryptographic key. Not sure how the algorithmic details would work.
10 Hide inside core of tree. Chop out later.
11 Inside block of granite in newly constructed building.
12 Convince evil forces that the true “pen” is actually some weird symbolic thing, like in the Da Vinci Code, and have them abandon search for true pen.
13 Create cult dedicated to developing extremely powerful physical and mental abilities, have them always surround and protect pen.
14 Inside jawbreaker that takes 50 years to get through. Also become a candy shop owner for plausible deniability about why I have that massive jawbreaker.
15 How much do I know about the miracle papers? If a lot, convince some other physicist I am a genius, gain their trust, and enlist their intelligence to help me think of a good hiding spot
16 Write the miracle papers now, but leave out one final symbol. Remove a tiny piece of the mechanism of the pen such that one can painstakingly use it to write the final symbol in 1905. Have the remaining 95% of the pen by stolen by evil forces who’ll then stop looking.
17 Store it up your a**, like Cristopher Walken in Pulp Fiction. Sorry Einstein, it was for the greater good!
18 Surgical implant of pen.
19 Store copies of identical pens inside each book in a library. Only you know the true one.
20 Well, I know I will sell it to him. So I’ll just give it to a random guy on the street in a foreign country; never knowing where it will end up, yet trusting that history is such that it will make its way back to me in 50 years.
21 Infiltrate some holy organisation, like the Vatican, and store it in a mega holy place that no one else is allowed to visit.
22 One of those elite Swiss safe deposit boxes.
23 Melt the pen. Store liquid in decorative jar. Re-mold pen when it’s time.
24 Change my name, identity and appearance, such that evil forces don’t know I am the one hiding the pen. Keep it on me at all times.
25 Hide it a dental prosthesis I wear
26 Have a long-lived bird swallow it. Become a bird watcher and friends with the bird. Take it back in 50 years.
27 Do lots of exposure therapy and become desensitised to scary things like snakes and spiders. Hide pen among a bunch of those scary things.
28 Enlist President of United States in quest—give him pen, and ask him to keep it safe until it’s time.
29 Inside a particular slice of train track.
30 Deep in mill
31 Deep in well
32 Deep inside bush of big thorns. Secretly dig tunnel underneath to get it out.
33 Hidden compartment in wall in London sewers.
34 Make pen the most treasured item of a dangerous, long-lived beast, who will protect it with its life, except from me, who tamed the beast.
35 Stage a fake accident where pen is destroyed.
36 Give it to a band of circus performers who’ll pass it on down the generations—no one can steal it from a juggler!
37 Make it bendable and hide it in a wrist-watch
38 Hide in a really difficult hall of mirrors
39 Steal something of value to the kidnappers, and threaten to destroy it if they make an attempt for the pen
40 Make the secrets of the pen a massive public sensation, and have the pen be hidden in a clearly visible public place
41 Offer some government/other powerful actors to run experiments on your magical premonition in exchange for keeping the pen safe
42 Convince evil forces that, of course, the pen is actually a piece of blackboard chalk. That’s what they should be looking for. (Though, actually, it’s not)
43 Get dreadlocks, hide it in one of them
44 Display it as a museum piece, while claiming that piece to be an entirely different pen
45 Somehow erase your memory (e.g. by hitting yourself in the head very hard), but build a system which pre-commits you to selling pens to Einstein in the future. Let history unfold.
46 Super heavy and hard-to-break box, with an advanced cryptographic lock that can only be opened with a secret key, where a process has been set in motion to only return the key you in 50 years. (Need to spell out what the “setting in motion” means.) If the box can be good enough, this is actually really helpful—because changes the problem to one of hiding a piece of information for 50 years, rather than a physical pen.
47 Just use the part of the postal service which delivers items to yourself at a particular date in the future, of your choosing. (Sweden has this.)
48 Try to reason with evil forces. Maybe you can strike a bargain—what if they get the pen in like 51 years, when Einstein is done using it for the miracle papers?
49 Embed it inside of your family’s finest cutlery
50 Auction it off to the highest bidder. Who says I have to follow the plot? I can just get rich and go do other useful stuff!
51 Enlist the Queen of England in the plot and get her to guard it.
Time was 41 min.
Secret pocket inside my coat.
Convince industrialists to produce a million similar pens. Evil forces won’t know the true one.
Send a hundred accomplices to bury boxes in secret spots. One box contains the pen, only I know which.
Just use it and leave it around as I would any normal pen. Evil forces will think it a trick, but it’s actually just hiding there in plain sight.
Disassemble pen into components, give one component to each of a set of trusted accomplices across the world.
Launch it into orbit, inside a safe box, in such a way that it returns in about 50 years.
7 Find some dam or lake that predictably will run out of water in close to 50 years. Hide it at the bottom in a safe box.
8 Stage some hiding plot that seems kinda smart, and like I kinda tried, and get evil forces to steal pen from it, and act like “Oh no, I lost the pen, I didn’t predict this, awful”—while all along keeping a safe one in a locked safe in my room.
9 Devise some sort of safe algorithm where a chain of people can 1) each give the pen to each other, 2) no one knows the full extent of the chain, and 3) the chain is retraceable in 50 years for anyone who obtains some cryptographic key. Not sure how the algorithmic details would work.
10 Hide inside core of tree. Chop out later.
11 Inside block of granite in newly constructed building.
12 Convince evil forces that the true “pen” is actually some weird symbolic thing, like in the Da Vinci Code, and have them abandon search for true pen.
13 Create cult dedicated to developing extremely powerful physical and mental abilities, have them always surround and protect pen.
14 Inside jawbreaker that takes 50 years to get through. Also become a candy shop owner for plausible deniability about why I have that massive jawbreaker.
15 How much do I know about the miracle papers? If a lot, convince some other physicist I am a genius, gain their trust, and enlist their intelligence to help me think of a good hiding spot
16 Write the miracle papers now, but leave out one final symbol. Remove a tiny piece of the mechanism of the pen such that one can painstakingly use it to write the final symbol in 1905. Have the remaining 95% of the pen by stolen by evil forces who’ll then stop looking.
17 Store it up your a**, like Cristopher Walken in Pulp Fiction. Sorry Einstein, it was for the greater good!
18 Surgical implant of pen.
19 Store copies of identical pens inside each book in a library. Only you know the true one.
20 Well, I know I will sell it to him. So I’ll just give it to a random guy on the street in a foreign country; never knowing where it will end up, yet trusting that history is such that it will make its way back to me in 50 years.
21 Infiltrate some holy organisation, like the Vatican, and store it in a mega holy place that no one else is allowed to visit.
22 One of those elite Swiss safe deposit boxes.
23 Melt the pen. Store liquid in decorative jar. Re-mold pen when it’s time.
24 Change my name, identity and appearance, such that evil forces don’t know I am the one hiding the pen. Keep it on me at all times.
25 Hide it a dental prosthesis I wear
26 Have a long-lived bird swallow it. Become a bird watcher and friends with the bird. Take it back in 50 years.
27 Do lots of exposure therapy and become desensitised to scary things like snakes and spiders. Hide pen among a bunch of those scary things.
28 Enlist President of United States in quest—give him pen, and ask him to keep it safe until it’s time.
29 Inside a particular slice of train track.
30 Deep in mill
31 Deep in well
32 Deep inside bush of big thorns. Secretly dig tunnel underneath to get it out.
33 Hidden compartment in wall in London sewers.
34 Make pen the most treasured item of a dangerous, long-lived beast, who will protect it with its life, except from me, who tamed the beast.
35 Stage a fake accident where pen is destroyed.
36 Give it to a band of circus performers who’ll pass it on down the generations—no one can steal it from a juggler!
37 Make it bendable and hide it in a wrist-watch
38 Hide in a really difficult hall of mirrors
39 Steal something of value to the kidnappers, and threaten to destroy it if they make an attempt for the pen
40 Make the secrets of the pen a massive public sensation, and have the pen be hidden in a clearly visible public place
41 Offer some government/other powerful actors to run experiments on your magical premonition in exchange for keeping the pen safe
42 Convince evil forces that, of course, the pen is actually a piece of blackboard chalk. That’s what they should be looking for. (Though, actually, it’s not)
43 Get dreadlocks, hide it in one of them
44 Display it as a museum piece, while claiming that piece to be an entirely different pen
45 Somehow erase your memory (e.g. by hitting yourself in the head very hard), but build a system which pre-commits you to selling pens to Einstein in the future. Let history unfold.
46 Super heavy and hard-to-break box, with an advanced cryptographic lock that can only be opened with a secret key, where a process has been set in motion to only return the key you in 50 years. (Need to spell out what the “setting in motion” means.) If the box can be good enough, this is actually really helpful—because changes the problem to one of hiding a piece of information for 50 years, rather than a physical pen.
47 Just use the part of the postal service which delivers items to yourself at a particular date in the future, of your choosing. (Sweden has this.)
48 Try to reason with evil forces. Maybe you can strike a bargain—what if they get the pen in like 51 years, when Einstein is done using it for the miracle papers?
49 Embed it inside of your family’s finest cutlery
50 Auction it off to the highest bidder. Who says I have to follow the plot? I can just get rich and go do other useful stuff!
51 Enlist the Queen of England in the plot and get her to guard it.