A good thing to bring up. There’s several reasons this could occur, mainly because laughter communicates to others how much anxiety someone is feeling at the moment.
In the example of your relative, you were probably quiet because you don’t know what anyone else is thinking, for the person in question to tell a joke (or someone close to it), lets you know that they themselves aren’t utterly depressed at that moment and thus lowers your own anxiety. Which probably readied you to laugh as well.
An attempted joke at a horribly wrong time, if it’s a big enough fail to overcome small amounts of anxiety, can make you potentially laugh at the person telling the joke for their utter lack of awareness. This is why a lot of comedy skits feature people doing stupid things at funerals.
At the actual moment when you feel highest anxiety though, such as when your loved one actually dies or the moment when it’s diagnosed, I would suggest that you won’t laugh at a tension breaking joke. It requires time for that feeling to fade a bit and for everyone to be unsure about how other people feel about things.
EDIT: I thought about this one in the shower. There’s also the possibility that your relative wasn’t joking, in which case you’d probably laugh (and I would too) because you expected them to be thinking much more dire thoughts. And the fact that their own response was a true result of a pragmatic, shoulder-shrugging type of analysis (not having to worry about getting lost due to being wheelchair bound), added validity to the idea that they were thinking about it that way. This would trigger us to laugh at our own expectations being so totally wrong. My own instinct is to say “oh, so that’s it?” while I’m laughing, which also points to this being the reason.
A good thing to bring up. There’s several reasons this could occur, mainly because laughter communicates to others how much anxiety someone is feeling at the moment.
In the example of your relative, you were probably quiet because you don’t know what anyone else is thinking, for the person in question to tell a joke (or someone close to it), lets you know that they themselves aren’t utterly depressed at that moment and thus lowers your own anxiety. Which probably readied you to laugh as well.
An attempted joke at a horribly wrong time, if it’s a big enough fail to overcome small amounts of anxiety, can make you potentially laugh at the person telling the joke for their utter lack of awareness. This is why a lot of comedy skits feature people doing stupid things at funerals.
At the actual moment when you feel highest anxiety though, such as when your loved one actually dies or the moment when it’s diagnosed, I would suggest that you won’t laugh at a tension breaking joke. It requires time for that feeling to fade a bit and for everyone to be unsure about how other people feel about things.
EDIT: I thought about this one in the shower. There’s also the possibility that your relative wasn’t joking, in which case you’d probably laugh (and I would too) because you expected them to be thinking much more dire thoughts. And the fact that their own response was a true result of a pragmatic, shoulder-shrugging type of analysis (not having to worry about getting lost due to being wheelchair bound), added validity to the idea that they were thinking about it that way. This would trigger us to laugh at our own expectations being so totally wrong. My own instinct is to say “oh, so that’s it?” while I’m laughing, which also points to this being the reason.