Worthwhile topic, and nice articulation of some things I tend to take for granted. Especially the distinction between judging the person and judging a particular decision or behavior. I try hard to understand that many people spend a lot of time/energy on an emotional reaction that “suggestion for improvement” = “horrible irredeemable hatred”, but I don’t (often) do that myself, so it’s hard to remember how big a deal it can be for others.
I gave up long ago on making most people happy, or really changing them much at all. I accept that most coworkers and casual acquaintances are focused differently enough than me that I need to adjust my communication style to get them to even understand what I want to change. But it’s not natural to me. I don’t get terribly heartsick when I hear complaints and understand the limited-worldview that their pain is causing them. I _do_ get tempted to treat them as non-agents, and try to figure out the game-world actions I can take to get the ending I want. It works disturbingly often, and I suspect I’m the Bad Person for this.
Worthwhile topic, and nice articulation of some things I tend to take for granted. Especially the distinction between judging the person and judging a particular decision or behavior. I try hard to understand that many people spend a lot of time/energy on an emotional reaction that “suggestion for improvement” = “horrible irredeemable hatred”, but I don’t (often) do that myself, so it’s hard to remember how big a deal it can be for others.
I gave up long ago on making most people happy, or really changing them much at all. I accept that most coworkers and casual acquaintances are focused differently enough than me that I need to adjust my communication style to get them to even understand what I want to change. But it’s not natural to me. I don’t get terribly heartsick when I hear complaints and understand the limited-worldview that their pain is causing them. I _do_ get tempted to treat them as non-agents, and try to figure out the game-world actions I can take to get the ending I want. It works disturbingly often, and I suspect I’m the Bad Person for this.