So those were the objections against PUA. Now the post itself...
A big part of the power a woman has over her mate is the threat of withdrawing from him sexually and/or emotionally....I still believe that women in general tend to have more power but PU shifted this towards men. W will have to consider “If I withdraw he can find another woman in two weeks.”, she clearly has lost bargaining power. P knows it too and will weigh if it is worth the hassle to remain in the relationship if he can find another woman very quickly. P has more power for being a PUA than he would have if he weren’t.
This is called an unhealthy relationship. Using the threat of leaving a relationship as a bargaining chip, to blackmail people, is emotional abuse. It’s far better to be alone than to have a relationship like this, in my opinion.
But back to the premise. If it’s all about supply and demand and power equilibrium, wouldn’t men object to fashion and beauty products by the same logic? Wouldn’t women object to men working out?
Good looking women will have no problem attracting lots of interested males. Usually women do the choosing, while males compete for the attention.
Warning: Anecdotal evidence—“Easier for women” only applies to casual sex. It is more or less equally hard for both genders to enter a long term relationship, and varies from social circle to circle as a function of gender ratio.
This is called an unhealthy relationship. Using the threat of leaving a relationship as a bargaining chip, to blackmail people, is emotional abuse. It’s far better to be alone than to have a relationship like this, in my opinion.
It certainly can be, particularly when when one partner is dependent on the other for more than physical and emotional rapport (ex. finances, living space, etc.) But a person’s willingness to remain in a relationship with someone else certainly depends on that person’s behavior. If whether it’s worthwhile for a person to remain with a particular partner hinges upon the partner’s willingness to enact a certain behavior, is it really never acceptable for the person to offer their partner that information and give them the choice of whether to enact the behavior or have the relationship end?
Sticking with a relationship with which one is unhappy out of refusal to hurt one’s partner by leaving is also an unhealthy relationship.
is it really never acceptable for the person to offer their partner that information and give them the choice of whether to enact the behavior or have the relationship end?
That’s an edge case, but I admit I had not considered it.
You might be right. I’m going to go think about that for a while.
So those were the objections against PUA. Now the post itself...
This is called an unhealthy relationship. Using the threat of leaving a relationship as a bargaining chip, to blackmail people, is emotional abuse. It’s far better to be alone than to have a relationship like this, in my opinion.
But back to the premise. If it’s all about supply and demand and power equilibrium, wouldn’t men object to fashion and beauty products by the same logic? Wouldn’t women object to men working out?
Warning: Anecdotal evidence—“Easier for women” only applies to casual sex. It is more or less equally hard for both genders to enter a long term relationship, and varies from social circle to circle as a function of gender ratio.
It certainly can be, particularly when when one partner is dependent on the other for more than physical and emotional rapport (ex. finances, living space, etc.) But a person’s willingness to remain in a relationship with someone else certainly depends on that person’s behavior. If whether it’s worthwhile for a person to remain with a particular partner hinges upon the partner’s willingness to enact a certain behavior, is it really never acceptable for the person to offer their partner that information and give them the choice of whether to enact the behavior or have the relationship end?
Sticking with a relationship with which one is unhappy out of refusal to hurt one’s partner by leaving is also an unhealthy relationship.
That’s an edge case, but I admit I had not considered it.
You might be right. I’m going to go think about that for a while.