I think I’d be more comfortable with this (as with much social and cultural “advice” discussions) if it were framed in the positive, not the negative, and if it acknowledged that friendship is complicated and diverse, with multiple distinct reasons for making and keeping friends, not all of which will (or should) apply to all your relationships. One reason this bothers me is that it advises a directional change “stop trying” without specifying how to decide on the right level of trying, and noting that SOME readers might want to try a bit more to cultivate interesting friends.
I think part of your message is “think of friendship as somewhat illegible, with many of the benefits hard to measure, and therefore recognize that a strict cost-benefit analysis will be very misleading”. I fully agree with this. Part of your message seems to be that interesting and intellectually stimulating are not worthwhile traits, and I rather disagree with that.
I think I’d be more comfortable with this (as with much social and cultural “advice” discussions) if it were framed in the positive, not the negative, and if it acknowledged that friendship is complicated and diverse, with multiple distinct reasons for making and keeping friends, not all of which will (or should) apply to all your relationships. One reason this bothers me is that it advises a directional change “stop trying” without specifying how to decide on the right level of trying, and noting that SOME readers might want to try a bit more to cultivate interesting friends.
I think part of your message is “think of friendship as somewhat illegible, with many of the benefits hard to measure, and therefore recognize that a strict cost-benefit analysis will be very misleading”. I fully agree with this. Part of your message seems to be that interesting and intellectually stimulating are not worthwhile traits, and I rather disagree with that.