This is really long but I just wanted to address one tiny little tangent:
With all that said, I do think the essence really amounts to “why not… just not do drama?”
I think the answer is basically that most people — and basically all the loud or visible collectives — are highly addicted to the sensations of drama. It lands a little like “why not… just stop smoking?” Ultimately, yes, of course. But in practice I think it’s trickier than you seem to think it is.
I’ve definitely been guilty of the rescuer role, tho I’ve gotten much better at avoiding the trap. It was because I cared and wanted to help, and I didn’t know how to do so effectively. Learning about the triangle probably would have helped. I first read about it a few days ago, and even now I still have weaker aspects that I want to fix (tho I also strongly disagree with some aspects of the model). So… for some people, at least, it really is as simple as “just don’t do drama”. Which, to be fair, is a lot harder than it sounds when you’re a clueless noob just figuring things out for the first time!
This is really long but I just wanted to address one tiny little tangent:
I’ve definitely been guilty of the rescuer role, tho I’ve gotten much better at avoiding the trap. It was because I cared and wanted to help, and I didn’t know how to do so effectively. Learning about the triangle probably would have helped. I first read about it a few days ago, and even now I still have weaker aspects that I want to fix (tho I also strongly disagree with some aspects of the model). So… for some people, at least, it really is as simple as “just don’t do drama”. Which, to be fair, is a lot harder than it sounds when you’re a clueless noob just figuring things out for the first time!