What’s Chesterton’s Fence for “Don’t play with your food”?
I did some thinking and googling and found that...
The food might get cold
The food might go places it shouldn’t go, making things dirty (or you might get dirty hands by playing with your food and then things get dirty that way)
It’s disrespectful to the chef (table manners)
It’s annoying to the other people who are eating so please just stop
Touching the food might not be very hygienic
What reasons am I missing? If you’re eating food that doesn’t go cold on your own, is playing with your food bad?
When I say anything like that to my daughter it’s usually either (1) because she’s playing with her food instead of eating it and we would prefer the meal to be of finite time and actually result in her getting the nutrition she needs, or (2) because what she’s doing is annoying to other people at the table, or (3) because doing the same in other situations is likely to (a) annoy people and/or (b) make them think worse of her, which we would prefer to avoid. Note that 3b is (at least partly) a self-fulfilling-prophecy thing: “playing with your food” is socially unacceptable, so people try to stop their children doing it, so it continues to be seen as socially unacceptable. Which is kinda silly, but the fact that it’s silly doesn’t make it go away. Oh, also (4) because it may end up with the food going on the floor or the table or her clothes, all of which are suboptimal for one reason or another.
I can’t think of any particular reason why it should be bad to play with your food if you’re on your own, you don’t care how long you take, and you’re confident of not making a mess.
I see “Don’t play with your food” as being in the same category as “Sit still! Don’t fidget! Be quiet! Don’t touch this!” which are all basically “Don’t do anything which might end up with me expending more energy on you” mixed with a dose of “I am your boss so you do as I say”.
And yes, I agree with Dagon that parents are often judged by how well-behaved their kids are, so there is pressure to train them to behave as small Victorian-era adults.
It’s disrespectful to people who don’t have any food to eat, much less play with.
Pretty much everything you do in the first world is disrespectful from that point of view. You pick clothes on the basis how fashionable they are? You play games on a computer? You have a pet, YOU GIVE FOOD TO AN ANIMAL?!!
It reduces people’s motivation to become chefs (the people who are socially permitted to “play” with food). Society needs happy chefs. (Unhappy ones will spit in your food.)
Also, even if you find a way to play with your food safely, there is the meta concern: Think of others, who are less skilled than you (so they cannot play with their food safely), and who will now try to copy your behavior. There may even emerge a social pressure to copy your behavior, if playing with food becomes a socially accepted costly signal of high dexterity or something.
I am not sure I see or understand the issue that playing with your food is dangerous or anything. Maybe if you start catapulting it or juggling it, but sorting or stacking or making shapes doesn’t seem dangerous to me.
I’m also not convinced that people will spit in my food if I play with it -
Hang on, if I write it down like that it just doesn’t make any sense at all; First I receive my food and then I play with it, how are they gonna spit in it? Do they watch me and then spit in my desert? Or do they just start spitting in everyone’s food (why?! It’s not payback if you do it to everyone) pre-emptively?
I can see another version of your first point: Playing with food is for people who are preparing food only, so if you want to play with your food, come help with preparation next time.
Except if I started to make shapes and sorting the alphabet soup spagetti I’d be ladled out of the kitchen for sure.
What’s Chesterton’s Fence for “Don’t play with your food”?
I did some thinking and googling and found that...
The food might get cold
The food might go places it shouldn’t go, making things dirty (or you might get dirty hands by playing with your food and then things get dirty that way)
It’s disrespectful to the chef (table manners)
It’s annoying to the other people who are eating so please just stop
Touching the food might not be very hygienic
What reasons am I missing? If you’re eating food that doesn’t go cold on your own, is playing with your food bad?
When I say anything like that to my daughter it’s usually either (1) because she’s playing with her food instead of eating it and we would prefer the meal to be of finite time and actually result in her getting the nutrition she needs, or (2) because what she’s doing is annoying to other people at the table, or (3) because doing the same in other situations is likely to (a) annoy people and/or (b) make them think worse of her, which we would prefer to avoid. Note that 3b is (at least partly) a self-fulfilling-prophecy thing: “playing with your food” is socially unacceptable, so people try to stop their children doing it, so it continues to be seen as socially unacceptable. Which is kinda silly, but the fact that it’s silly doesn’t make it go away. Oh, also (4) because it may end up with the food going on the floor or the table or her clothes, all of which are suboptimal for one reason or another.
I can’t think of any particular reason why it should be bad to play with your food if you’re on your own, you don’t care how long you take, and you’re confident of not making a mess.
Not sure there is one.
I see “Don’t play with your food” as being in the same category as “Sit still! Don’t fidget! Be quiet! Don’t touch this!” which are all basically “Don’t do anything which might end up with me expending more energy on you” mixed with a dose of “I am your boss so you do as I say”.
And yes, I agree with Dagon that parents are often judged by how well-behaved their kids are, so there is pressure to train them to behave as small Victorian-era adults.
I’m inclined to believe this because it fits with pretty much all the scenarios I have seen it used.
Parents will feel judged by their peers if their children are thought to be messy/unruly/sullen, and playing with food is some evidence of such.
This seems to make sense.
It’s disrespectful to people who don’t have any food to eat, much less play with. Food is important, and this fact is easily forgotten.
Pretty much everything you do in the first world is disrespectful from that point of view. You pick clothes on the basis how fashionable they are? You play games on a computer? You have a pet, YOU GIVE FOOD TO AN ANIMAL?!!
It reduces people’s motivation to become chefs (the people who are socially permitted to “play” with food). Society needs happy chefs. (Unhappy ones will spit in your food.)
Also, even if you find a way to play with your food safely, there is the meta concern: Think of others, who are less skilled than you (so they cannot play with their food safely), and who will now try to copy your behavior. There may even emerge a social pressure to copy your behavior, if playing with food becomes a socially accepted costly signal of high dexterity or something.
I am not sure I see or understand the issue that playing with your food is dangerous or anything. Maybe if you start catapulting it or juggling it, but sorting or stacking or making shapes doesn’t seem dangerous to me.
I’m also not convinced that people will spit in my food if I play with it -
Hang on, if I write it down like that it just doesn’t make any sense at all; First I receive my food and then I play with it, how are they gonna spit in it? Do they watch me and then spit in my desert? Or do they just start spitting in everyone’s food (why?! It’s not payback if you do it to everyone) pre-emptively?
I can see another version of your first point: Playing with food is for people who are preparing food only, so if you want to play with your food, come help with preparation next time.
Except if I started to make shapes and sorting the alphabet soup spagetti I’d be ladled out of the kitchen for sure.