I recommend against figuring out your cruxes in advance, as they might not be cruxes for the other person. Finding a double crux often involves seeing what someone else holds as a crux, and seeing if that would change your mind.
From the double crux article (Not really claiming to be an expert here):
Seek cruxes independently before anchoring on your partner’s thoughts.
and
Seek double cruxes
Seek your own cruxes independently, and compare with those of the other person to find overlap
Seek cruxes collaboratively, by making claims (“I believe that X will happen because Y”) and focusing on falsifiability (“It would take A, B, or C to make me stop believing X”)
We seek cruxes independently as a first step to avoid anchoring too soon, but there’s no guarantee that the lists will overlap. Then we seek collaboratively, or so says the article, but it also acknowledges that the method is experimental.
Overall, it helps to keep the ideal of a perfect double crux in the front of your mind, while holding the realities of your actual conversation somewhat separate. We’ve found that, at any given moment, increasing the “double cruxiness” of a conversation tends to be useful, but worrying about how far from the ideal you are in absolute terms doesn’t. It’s all about doing what’s useful and productive in the moment, and that often means making sane compromises—if one of you has clear cruxes and the other is floundering, it’s fine to focus on one side. If neither of you can find a single crux, but instead each of you has something like eight co-cruxes of which any five are sufficient, just say so and then move forward in whatever way seems best.
I recommend against figuring out your cruxes in advance, as they might not be cruxes for the other person.
Finding a double crux often involves seeing what someone else holds as a crux, and seeing if that would change your mind.
From the double crux article (Not really claiming to be an expert here):
and
We seek cruxes independently as a first step to avoid anchoring too soon, but there’s no guarantee that the lists will overlap. Then we seek collaboratively, or so says the article, but it also acknowledges that the method is experimental.
Maybe you are right. For everyone who thinks it is better—my cruxes are in the bottom of my comment.
Also from the double crux article:
I’m floundering, so I’ll read yours.