I suspect my boss has high functioning AS. I Googled her personality traits, and a page full of info came up on AS. I am in shock, but now it makes more sense. She does not recognize social cues, lacks empathy (for others), imposes whatever her current interest or issue is, with extreme tenacity, upon others, is extremely indecisive in some areas (not all), and has a nervous ‘bark’ or clearing of throat. She does not get along with others. However, she is the head anesthesiologist at the local hospital. She is not clumsy, but does have one eye that is visibly lower than the other. She does not pick up on jokes or sarcasm and only laughs if she sees others doing so. Intense? WOW. Whatever the current ‘bee in her bonnet’ happens to be, is treated with such intensity, tenacity and ferocity that is is like she is in a trance until her desire is fulfilled.
Lack of empathy is not an autistic trait. Unconventional (possibly unreliable) channels for the apprehension of others’ feelings, and unconventional channels for expressing empathy, are, which is often confused for outright lack. I’m also not sure why the position of her eyes is supposed to be relevant to any of this.
You beat me to it. I’ll add that there is a difference between “reading social cues and inferring probable mental states of others in real time and responding appropriately” and “caring about the situation of others”, even though the word empathy is used for both concepts. (Many people are essentially unable to distinguish the two concepts, so closely do they associate them.)
In my own case, suggesting ways to solve problems that are causing emotional distress. Some people find this very annoying. Asking questions to figure out what the problem is at base should in almost all cases follow, not precede expressions of sympathy and reassurance. How advice is presented is also very important; giving advice is an implicit claim that you know more than the other person, i.e. that you’re of higher status. Many people are extremely bad at distinguishing critique and criticism, and one way of disarming their defensive reactions is framing advice as “Well, I’m sure you’ve heard all this before/thought of this already but...” This will of course just piss off some other people who’ll see it as talking down to them, I’ve used “permission to speak frankly” at few times in the past weeks dealing with a friend who I think has AS as well.
Any other unconventional channels or expressions of same you can think of?
One that I’m prone to is backing off and leaving people alone when they’re emotionally upset, based on my own preference to be left alone in such situations. That one actually doesn’t go too badly so long as I remember to say something along the lines of “if you want to talk about it, let me know” first, but I’m pretty sure some people find it off-putting.
Many people are in the position where they have to spend a very considerable part, sometimes the majority, of their waking hours in the company of their coworkers. If the coworkers fail to maintain a pleasant enough disposition and are difficult to deal with, for whatever reason, this can make one’s life very miserable. The problem is of course even more severe if the coworker in question is a superior.
That strikes me as very tangential. Neurotypical coworkers can still be quite unpleasant to deal with, and are not necessarily more amenable to changing their relevant behavior.
Probably AS. But as Adelene already responded: So what?
There are advantages and disadvantages to having an AS boss. There are quirks to deal with, probably some tunnel vision and you are not likely to be understood as well (except, sometimes, if you think similarly or the AS person in question has expended effort learning psychology.) But on the other hand they are not going to get insecure and socially punish you if you go around with high status posture looking happy and confident—at least not if they aren’t able to notice body language at all.
The only question that matters to you practically speaking is how the situation is to work in. If it sucks leave. If it doesn’t suck stay.
I suspect my boss has high functioning AS. I Googled her personality traits, and a page full of info came up on AS. I am in shock, but now it makes more sense. She does not recognize social cues, lacks empathy (for others), imposes whatever her current interest or issue is, with extreme tenacity, upon others, is extremely indecisive in some areas (not all), and has a nervous ‘bark’ or clearing of throat. She does not get along with others. However, she is the head anesthesiologist at the local hospital. She is not clumsy, but does have one eye that is visibly lower than the other. She does not pick up on jokes or sarcasm and only laughs if she sees others doing so. Intense? WOW. Whatever the current ‘bee in her bonnet’ happens to be, is treated with such intensity, tenacity and ferocity that is is like she is in a trance until her desire is fulfilled.
Anyone have an opinion on this?
Lack of empathy is not an autistic trait. Unconventional (possibly unreliable) channels for the apprehension of others’ feelings, and unconventional channels for expressing empathy, are, which is often confused for outright lack. I’m also not sure why the position of her eyes is supposed to be relevant to any of this.
You beat me to it. I’ll add that there is a difference between “reading social cues and inferring probable mental states of others in real time and responding appropriately” and “caring about the situation of others”, even though the word empathy is used for both concepts. (Many people are essentially unable to distinguish the two concepts, so closely do they associate them.)
In my own case, suggesting ways to solve problems that are causing emotional distress. Some people find this very annoying. Asking questions to figure out what the problem is at base should in almost all cases follow, not precede expressions of sympathy and reassurance. How advice is presented is also very important; giving advice is an implicit claim that you know more than the other person, i.e. that you’re of higher status. Many people are extremely bad at distinguishing critique and criticism, and one way of disarming their defensive reactions is framing advice as “Well, I’m sure you’ve heard all this before/thought of this already but...” This will of course just piss off some other people who’ll see it as talking down to them, I’ve used “permission to speak frankly” at few times in the past weeks dealing with a friend who I think has AS as well.
Any other unconventional channels or expressions of same you can think of?
One that I’m prone to is backing off and leaving people alone when they’re emotionally upset, based on my own preference to be left alone in such situations. That one actually doesn’t go too badly so long as I remember to say something along the lines of “if you want to talk about it, let me know” first, but I’m pretty sure some people find it off-putting.
Maybe something to do with the facial asymmetry JanetK mentions here?
Even if she is autistic: So what?
Many people are in the position where they have to spend a very considerable part, sometimes the majority, of their waking hours in the company of their coworkers. If the coworkers fail to maintain a pleasant enough disposition and are difficult to deal with, for whatever reason, this can make one’s life very miserable. The problem is of course even more severe if the coworker in question is a superior.
That strikes me as very tangential. Neurotypical coworkers can still be quite unpleasant to deal with, and are not necessarily more amenable to changing their relevant behavior.
Probably AS. But as Adelene already responded: So what?
There are advantages and disadvantages to having an AS boss. There are quirks to deal with, probably some tunnel vision and you are not likely to be understood as well (except, sometimes, if you think similarly or the AS person in question has expended effort learning psychology.) But on the other hand they are not going to get insecure and socially punish you if you go around with high status posture looking happy and confident—at least not if they aren’t able to notice body language at all.
The only question that matters to you practically speaking is how the situation is to work in. If it sucks leave. If it doesn’t suck stay.