I’m finishing the first week (of eleven) of my half-marathon training.
I’m finishing the second paper (of four) that I need to write in order to receive my masters.
Cultivating and maintaining a new romantic relationship.
Recent Success/Back story
More broadly I’d like to share some of my backstory. I hope it will be informative and maybe somewhat inspiring. Four years ago I had just graduated from College with a double major in Mathematics and Economics. My mind was set on getting a PhD in Economics and getting a job as a tenure-track economics professor at a research university. I was disappointed and a little surprised at how few schools accepted me and how even fewer schools offered me a decent stipend. (While I graduated top of my class, my school was not well known and the econ dept was generally weak.)
I decided to take the offer that gave me the most money (even though it was the worst school.) I knew this was risky (I have a history of underachieving and “playing to the competition”) but I felt I could overcome some of my past flaws, perform to the best of my ability, and hopefully transfer to a better program. I’m not sure if this was the right decision, but it did not end well. Initially, my performance was excellent. My knowledge and skills in math were well above my classmates, and this made things profoundly easy. Very quickly, though, things began to fall apart. I was bored in my classes. I had trouble making new friends. I wanted to do theoretical work, but my professors all did empirical stuff and I soon realized I would have to graduate from a top program in order to do theoretical work.
At this point, if I had been a rationalist, I would have accelerated my efforts and tried to transfer to a better program. Unfortunately, I did the exact opposite. I decided to stay in the program, but do absolutely nothing. I would occasionally go to class, refused to do homework (so long as I did well enough on my exams and felt I “knew” the material) and never completed term papers. I refused to study for my prelims, passing the ‘hard’ one (micro) and failing the ‘easy’ one (macro). I stayed for another year, continuing my decline. I partied a lot. I got a new girlfriend. After my second year I decided to leave (although, I would have been forced to leave, so my ‘decision’ was moot.) I moved back to my home state, got a job, broke up with the girl, and wallowed in my own self-pity and the injustice of the world. If only people would just recognize my genius and throw money at me!
Talking (read: complaining) to my older brother, me made an excellent point. He said that I choose to fail. Somehow, until that moment, I had considered that the actions had anything to do with where I was. It was the universe that failed to provide me with the right opportunities. I didn’t have the right mentors. I wasn’t born into a wealthy family. Then I decided to figure out what I wanted, and get it.
So, a year ago, I moved back to the town where my grad school was. Without a job, or school, or plans, I packed up my things and drove. I had some savings. I found an apartment and a job. I tried to get my ex girlfriend back. Another spectacular failure. I wallowed a bit longer, then I discovered Less Wrong. I decided I need to start a success spiral. I started examining my life. Looking for what behaviors were leading to these results and thinking about ways to fix them. I started working with my old professors, who were generous enough to let me complete my term papers years later (and thus turn my incomplete grades into actual grades and thus salvage a Masters degree out of my two years spent in grad school.) I joined an adult kickball team and met a host of new friends (through which I met the girl who is now my new girlfriend) and starting giving myself other self-improving goals (I feel that I lack self-discipline and mental toughness, so I decided to train for a half-marathon.)
As a result, my quality of life and overall satisfaction has sky-rocketed. I still have a lot more to do (one big thing, is to figure out what I want to do with my life career-wise, which is something I still haven’t figured out how to determine.) but I’m moving, and accelerating, in the right direction.
Currently Working On
I’m finishing the first week (of eleven) of my half-marathon training.
I’m finishing the second paper (of four) that I need to write in order to receive my masters.
Cultivating and maintaining a new romantic relationship.
Recent Success/Back story
More broadly I’d like to share some of my backstory. I hope it will be informative and maybe somewhat inspiring. Four years ago I had just graduated from College with a double major in Mathematics and Economics. My mind was set on getting a PhD in Economics and getting a job as a tenure-track economics professor at a research university. I was disappointed and a little surprised at how few schools accepted me and how even fewer schools offered me a decent stipend. (While I graduated top of my class, my school was not well known and the econ dept was generally weak.)
I decided to take the offer that gave me the most money (even though it was the worst school.) I knew this was risky (I have a history of underachieving and “playing to the competition”) but I felt I could overcome some of my past flaws, perform to the best of my ability, and hopefully transfer to a better program. I’m not sure if this was the right decision, but it did not end well. Initially, my performance was excellent. My knowledge and skills in math were well above my classmates, and this made things profoundly easy. Very quickly, though, things began to fall apart. I was bored in my classes. I had trouble making new friends. I wanted to do theoretical work, but my professors all did empirical stuff and I soon realized I would have to graduate from a top program in order to do theoretical work.
At this point, if I had been a rationalist, I would have accelerated my efforts and tried to transfer to a better program. Unfortunately, I did the exact opposite. I decided to stay in the program, but do absolutely nothing. I would occasionally go to class, refused to do homework (so long as I did well enough on my exams and felt I “knew” the material) and never completed term papers. I refused to study for my prelims, passing the ‘hard’ one (micro) and failing the ‘easy’ one (macro). I stayed for another year, continuing my decline. I partied a lot. I got a new girlfriend. After my second year I decided to leave (although, I would have been forced to leave, so my ‘decision’ was moot.) I moved back to my home state, got a job, broke up with the girl, and wallowed in my own self-pity and the injustice of the world. If only people would just recognize my genius and throw money at me!
Talking (read: complaining) to my older brother, me made an excellent point. He said that I choose to fail. Somehow, until that moment, I had considered that the actions had anything to do with where I was. It was the universe that failed to provide me with the right opportunities. I didn’t have the right mentors. I wasn’t born into a wealthy family. Then I decided to figure out what I wanted, and get it.
So, a year ago, I moved back to the town where my grad school was. Without a job, or school, or plans, I packed up my things and drove. I had some savings. I found an apartment and a job. I tried to get my ex girlfriend back. Another spectacular failure. I wallowed a bit longer, then I discovered Less Wrong. I decided I need to start a success spiral. I started examining my life. Looking for what behaviors were leading to these results and thinking about ways to fix them. I started working with my old professors, who were generous enough to let me complete my term papers years later (and thus turn my incomplete grades into actual grades and thus salvage a Masters degree out of my two years spent in grad school.) I joined an adult kickball team and met a host of new friends (through which I met the girl who is now my new girlfriend) and starting giving myself other self-improving goals (I feel that I lack self-discipline and mental toughness, so I decided to train for a half-marathon.)
As a result, my quality of life and overall satisfaction has sky-rocketed. I still have a lot more to do (one big thing, is to figure out what I want to do with my life career-wise, which is something I still haven’t figured out how to determine.) but I’m moving, and accelerating, in the right direction.