To call “don’t downvote if I’m in the conversation” a local norm might be overstating the case. I’ve heard several people assert this about their own behavior, and there are good reasons for it (and equally good reasons for not upvoting if I’m in the conversation), but my own position is more “distrust the impulse to vote on something I’m emotionally engaged with.”
I think the norm is pretty strong. I tend to downvote for stupid, not just wrong. But it will need to be explicitly reinforced.
Edit: The norm on the site is also different if you are participating in the conversation (try not to downvote at all) or simply observing.
To call “don’t downvote if I’m in the conversation” a local norm might be overstating the case. I’ve heard several people assert this about their own behavior, and there are good reasons for it (and equally good reasons for not upvoting if I’m in the conversation), but my own position is more “distrust the impulse to vote on something I’m emotionally engaged with.”
I like that, and I think I’ll use something like that in the guidelines.