Non-action is a ubiquitous option that is often overlooked. It can be very powerful.
For example, if someone asks you a question, it’s natural to immediately start searching for the best words to say in response. The search may feel especially desperate if it seems like there is nothing you can say that would be true and useful. An ace-up-the-sleeve is to be silent. No one can force you to act or speak, and a rare, minor social faux pas is forgotten surprisingly fast.
A friend:
“Do I look fat in this dress?” Smiles. [commence silent mode]
A police officer:
“Ok for me to search your car? What are you doing here?”
“I’m happy to comply if you have a warrant. I’ll need to consult with my attorney before answering any further questions.” [commence silent mode]
A serial killer:
“Which of your children shall I murder?!”
[commence silent mode]
(I pay little attention to threatening people, regardless of what they say or do, and the outcome is usually the best I could hope for.)
Non-action is a ubiquitous option that is often overlooked. It can be very powerful.
For example, if someone asks you a question, it’s natural to immediately start searching for the best words to say in response. The search may feel especially desperate if it seems like there is nothing you can say that would be true and useful. An ace-up-the-sleeve is to be silent. No one can force you to act or speak, and a rare, minor social faux pas is forgotten surprisingly fast.
A friend:
“Do I look fat in this dress?”
Smiles. [commence silent mode]
A police officer:
“Ok for me to search your car? What are you doing here?”
“I’m happy to comply if you have a warrant. I’ll need to consult with my attorney before answering any further questions.” [commence silent mode]
A serial killer:
“Which of your children shall I murder?!”
[commence silent mode]
(I pay little attention to threatening people, regardless of what they say or do, and the outcome is usually the best I could hope for.)