I think the most frequently used identity I have was created why a public speaking teacher commented that I was just fine acting on stage, but became very shy and nervous when I was speaking as myself. I don’t recall if this was her idea or mine, but I developed a ‘character’ that was basically me sans said shyness. Large body language, typically spoke louder, almost a caricature of confidence. While it was originally just for speaking to large groups, it quickly got used for any conversation with people who weren’t my close friends. Sometime during college, I got so accustomed to using this ‘character’ that I realized it wasn’t exactly an act any more.
Ironically, a very useful identity was one I abandoned- in high school, I thought of myself as a prodigy, far smarter than the hopeless plebeians around me. This was probably useful, as it kept me focused on learning on my own when the class didn’t move fast enough. On the other hand, as soon as I hit college, I realized this wasn’t very helpful since it stopped me from asking questions, noticing that I didn’t understand the material, and working usefully with the other students. I think it was very useful while I had it, but by far the most important lesson I learned in those four years was that I am not a genius. (I’m smart, but there’s an order of magnitude difference from where I thought of myself and where I see myself now.)
I think the most frequently used identity I have was created why a public speaking teacher commented that I was just fine acting on stage, but became very shy and nervous when I was speaking as myself. I don’t recall if this was her idea or mine, but I developed a ‘character’ that was basically me sans said shyness. Large body language, typically spoke louder, almost a caricature of confidence. While it was originally just for speaking to large groups, it quickly got used for any conversation with people who weren’t my close friends. Sometime during college, I got so accustomed to using this ‘character’ that I realized it wasn’t exactly an act any more.
Ironically, a very useful identity was one I abandoned- in high school, I thought of myself as a prodigy, far smarter than the hopeless plebeians around me. This was probably useful, as it kept me focused on learning on my own when the class didn’t move fast enough. On the other hand, as soon as I hit college, I realized this wasn’t very helpful since it stopped me from asking questions, noticing that I didn’t understand the material, and working usefully with the other students. I think it was very useful while I had it, but by far the most important lesson I learned in those four years was that I am not a genius. (I’m smart, but there’s an order of magnitude difference from where I thought of myself and where I see myself now.)