I’ve had success in similar situations by reframing things and adopting the “extrovert in training” identity. Struggling at the limit of my ability reinforced that identity, even when that limit was low. For example, an extrovert wouldn’t attend the first 45 minutes of a party and then get overwhelmed and leave, but an extrovert in training would. Meanwhile, the identity reinforced my desire to struggle at the limit of my ability (maybe I can stay for 75 minutes), which led to rapid improvement. The general heuristic of reframing from “I am having trouble with X” to “I am learning to X” has helped my motivation immensely.
Also, you are awesome for taking concrete steps to gain the skills you want. Have some positive reinforcement.
This is a great example of a growth mindset motivated identity! If you’re not yet good enough at a skill according to your inner judge, just call yourself an apprentice.
I’ve had success in similar situations by reframing things and adopting the “extrovert in training” identity. Struggling at the limit of my ability reinforced that identity, even when that limit was low. For example, an extrovert wouldn’t attend the first 45 minutes of a party and then get overwhelmed and leave, but an extrovert in training would. Meanwhile, the identity reinforced my desire to struggle at the limit of my ability (maybe I can stay for 75 minutes), which led to rapid improvement. The general heuristic of reframing from “I am having trouble with X” to “I am learning to X” has helped my motivation immensely.
Also, you are awesome for taking concrete steps to gain the skills you want. Have some positive reinforcement.
This is a great example of a growth mindset motivated identity! If you’re not yet good enough at a skill according to your inner judge, just call yourself an apprentice.
That is a useful reframing. I’ll give it a try!