Yes, 100%. We started with ~10 people in the house, and gained and lost various people over the course of the year. There were greatly varying levels of trust among the pairwise relationships – the rough categories being (1) me and my partner, and some other sets of best friends, (2) long-time housemates, (3) newer housemates, and (4) a totally random squatter who we worked really hard to kick out before shit got real. That is just so much to negotiate.
And then if you have two ~10-person bubbles that want to collide, with the same problem of varying levels of trust, everyone’s feelings get involved, and so you’re like, “well, I miss hugging my friend, but there’s no way it’s worth dragging 20 people into it.” And someone sends you their microCOVID spreadsheet but they admit they haven’t been filling it out reliably, and neither have your housemates been reporting their microCOVIDs reliably, and you just throw up your hands and give up forever.
And also, there was a time when having 9 housemates meant that it didn’t feel important to seek out other interaction, and then that was no longer true and I didn’t adjust. I haven’t even been video calling friends this year, even though I always feel good after I do. So there’s definitely a measure of social inertia there that has nothing to do with fear of COVID.
So there’s definitely a measure of social inertia there that has nothing to do with fear of COVID.
My experience is that fear, or at least fear that is in the background and that I am dissociated from, creates social inertia and other inertia for me. (Also grief that I am dissociated from.)
Yes, 100%. We started with ~10 people in the house, and gained and lost various people over the course of the year. There were greatly varying levels of trust among the pairwise relationships – the rough categories being (1) me and my partner, and some other sets of best friends, (2) long-time housemates, (3) newer housemates, and (4) a totally random squatter who we worked really hard to kick out before shit got real. That is just so much to negotiate.
And then if you have two ~10-person bubbles that want to collide, with the same problem of varying levels of trust, everyone’s feelings get involved, and so you’re like, “well, I miss hugging my friend, but there’s no way it’s worth dragging 20 people into it.” And someone sends you their microCOVID spreadsheet but they admit they haven’t been filling it out reliably, and neither have your housemates been reporting their microCOVIDs reliably, and you just throw up your hands and give up forever.
And also, there was a time when having 9 housemates meant that it didn’t feel important to seek out other interaction, and then that was no longer true and I didn’t adjust. I haven’t even been video calling friends this year, even though I always feel good after I do. So there’s definitely a measure of social inertia there that has nothing to do with fear of COVID.
My experience is that fear, or at least fear that is in the background and that I am dissociated from, creates social inertia and other inertia for me. (Also grief that I am dissociated from.)