tl;dr: Cuteness is the word that we use when we want something to experience a feeling of safety or otherwise be more confident than we think they would feel without special effort to make them feel that way.
Thanks for expanding. I want to throw out a warning that we’re treading dangerously close to the foul line, but I think we’re still in-bounds.
Using the word “cute” sarcastically is a very different use of the word with a completely different meaning.
I understand the general point that words can have different meanings, and I’m open to the possibility that I’m falling victim to the typical mind fallacy. I don’t have any alternate meanings suggested yet, so I’m going to try to preemptively defend my definition below.
I want to test this hypothesis with a visualization experiment. I don’t expect it will take longer than about 2 minutes to do all of the visualizations. This is the scene I want you to imagine: the person, animal, or object is standing or sitting, whichever can be expected of it. If it’s a person, he or she has a blank, unsmiling, neutral, unaggressive facial expression. If it’s an animal, its face is similarly at rest. It’s facing either Data or Spock (take your pick). Imagine Data or Spock saying the sentence out loud to the person, animal, or object.
52″ plasma television set—It’s flipping through many channels, previewing each one for about a second; someone is channel-surfing. “You will be replaced by better, cheaper technology in less than a year.”
Baby—“You would test very low on an IQ test. You will continue to be a net resource drain for several years.”
Sexiest person alive—Doesn’t matter who or what gender—this person is desired greatly, and desired primarily for their ability to satisfy you, personally, sexually. Take a minute and picture this person facing Data or Spock. “Your opinion isn’t respected in virtually any matter; people agree with it out of hope they’ll be able to sleep with you.”
Bunny—“In a year’s time, you will be harvested and your muscles will be cooked in a soup.”
Cute boy or girl—Crucially, “cute” describes a particular type of attractive person. Imagine a person you would describe as cute, but not a person who is attractive who could not be described as cute. For me (and some others), “attractive but not cute” is a category that includes “hot,” for example. If the word “cute” is a synoynm for “attractive” with perfect overlap, skip this question and note it below. If you imagined a girl: “You are valued for your womb and your abilities as a nanny. Men will want you for a wife but will consistently lust after other women for their sexual satisfaction.” If you imagined a boy: “Women will tolerate your lovemaking, but you will be valued for your patience and because your timidity makes women around you feel outgoing, bold, and charismatic.”
Hyena—“You will never have the opportunity to reproduce.”
Tiny shampoo bottle—Imagine a small carnation-pink shampoo bottle, perhaps 2 inches tall. It has a white, spherical cap. The spherical cap has a very small, intricate, carnation-pink ribbon affixed atop it, as if it were a Christmas gift. “Throw this bottle away; its small volume makes it effectively worthless as a shampoo container.”
An old man—Imagine an old man who could be perceived as “cute.” Perhaps an old man, short, 90 years old, who walks very slowly, bringing his elderly wife, of roughly the same build, a plate with a sandwich on it, and he’s torn the crust off the sandwich because he knows his wife doesn’t like it. His hair is combed impeccably over his bald spot. His pants aren’t long enough for his legs; they’re “highwaters.” After he sits next to her, he pats her knee. Now imagine this old man facing Data or Spock. “Your wife is still hiding love letters in her closet from her boyfriend before you, who left her. She still reads them and has never been as satisfied since marrying you.”
A creepy old man—Leering, sexually active. “You give women the creeps, so you won’t have sex again between now and when you die.”
Did some of these statements seem meaner than others? Did any of these make you want to say to Data or Spock, “Don’t say that!” or “You’re going to hurt his/its feelings”? If so, which?
My hypothesis is that the following visualizations will incite, in the typical person, either slight anger at Data or Spock, an instinct to reassure the object at which the unpretty truth is directed, or in some other way some protective behavior, such as an urge to refute the hypothesis especially emphatically for that particular visualization, more than the others: baby, bunny, cute boy/girl, tiny shampoo bottle, old man. My hypothesis is that the following incited either zero emotional response or a non-negative emotional response: TV, sexy person, hyena, creepy old man.
Interesting. My empathy seems to be working in a weird way.
TV set: it doesn’t sound mean at all—it’s an inanimate fucking object. (I’m assuming the old TV set will be sold or given away, rather than disposed of or destroyed, otherwise it would sound somewhat mean—towards the hypothetical person who could otherwise use the TV set, not towards the TV set itself.
Baby: not mean at all if the baby is too young to understand, very mean otherwise. By this point, I was thinking that “can they understand?” must be it.
Sexy person: somewhat mean. So far, so good; but...
Bunny: okay, this does sound kind-of mean, and the bunny most definitely doesn’t understand English, so my heuristic was broken. (I’m not sure whether me feeling empathy for a bunny is a bug or a feature.) Next:
Cute girl: slightly mean.
Cute boy: not mean at all. (But the fact that in certain ways I’m probably more feminine than usual for males might have something to do with that.)
Hyena: wow, that does sound somewhat mean (more than for the bunny). WTH? Some part of me must be an Azathoth worshipper.
Shampoo bottle: not mean at all. Can’t feel empathy for a bottle even if I try to force myself to. (And, as I once already mentioned, I do feel a sliver of empathy for the molecules in this picture when they’re hit particularly hard. What’s the difference? The fact that I’ve done moshing which is analogous to thermal collisions but I’ve never done anything remotely analogous to being a shampoo bottle about to be thrown away?
Old man: OMG, telling him that in front of his wife? ’The hell is wrong with you, Mr Spock?
Creepy old man: the “You give women the creeps” part doesn’t sound mean at all, the “you won’t have sex again between now and when you die” sounds extremely mean (but the fact that I’m involuntarily celibate myself probably has something to do with this).
(I’m not sure whether me feeling empathy for a bunny is a bug or a feature.)
I still don’t know, but the fact that I can feel sorry for someone talking to it is definitely a bug. I don’t think words should have any non-zero terminal value, they only matter insofar as they have an effect in the listener (and if Omega told me that there’s an M-Disc with $literary_work somewhere in intergalactic space where no-one could read it, and offered to give me $10 and destroy the disc, I would totally accept); and (pace certain new-agey bollocks) telling a bunny “In a year’s time, you will be harvested and your muscles will be cooked in a soup” won’t hurt it any more than telling it anything else.
I want to throw out a warning that we’re treading dangerously close to the foul line, but I think we’re still in-bounds.
It strikes me that tabooing “cute” might be useful here. Regardless of how we use the word, going back to the OP, what is it we mean when we talk about our reaction to say, a picture of a bunny or a kitty or a baby? For me, it’s an “awww” response, coupled with a smile and an urge to hold or pet or protect the animal. I don’t feel that way about a miniature object, exactly, or an old man, or a sexually attractive person. At best it’s a very muted version of the feeling.
Response: I have weak negative responses in all cases, inanimate objects included. The negative responses are stronger only in case of both old men. Ordering from the weakest to the strongest may be:
plasma TV,
sexiest person,
shampoo,
baby,
hyena,
bunny,
creepy man,
90 years man.
Few disclaimers:
a) I am not a native English speaker, so my understanding of “cute” is probably non-standard.
b) I have excluded cute boy/girl from classification, since I have no idea what I may imagine. (Maybe related to a.)
c) TV set would score much higher if it were an old black and white model from 1960s.
d) I feel a difference in severity of revealed incovenient truths. “You will be cooked” is certainly more harsh than “you will be a resource drain”.
e) It is difficult to answer, since my initial feelings rapidly change as I think about the situations longer.
f) I don’t see how relevant is this test to the OP.
My responses: negative emotional response for all the humans, except the baby. Especially negative responses for both the old men. Neutral for the TV, baby, bunny, hyena, and shampoo. Did people seriously feel defensive or protective of inanimate objects?
I actually included that because of exactly that response from various girls about objects like hotel shampoo bottles, Japanese candies, a very small salt-shaker, a tiny spoon, etc. It usually goes something like, “Look at that salt shaker; it’s so cute.” And then I look at the salt shaker and say, “You’re worthless because you’re too small to be useful.” And the girl will go, “Don’t say that!” and then immediately grabs the salt shaker.
One time I drew pictures on a piece of scratchpaper in such a way that when a Japanese candy was placed in the middle of it, it looked like I had the candy strung up by chains and was being tortured via electric shock. My co-worker snatched the candy and still hasn’t eaten it; it’s still in her desk.
This could have more to do with a reaction to you than to the object. There’s no real motivation to love and protect a cute tiny salt shaker, but surely there’s also no call to be or simulate being cruel to it. I mean, it can’t hear you. If you address it and say nasty things to it, what are the possible motivations for that? Mightn’t it make sense on some psychological level to object and work to prevent the outlet of nastiness due to its perceived meaning about and effects on you rather than the saltshaker?
My point is that it’s perceived as nasty and cruel at all, rather than bizarre or slightly rude or honest. Imagine it was an excessively large salt shaker—say, several feet tall. And faced it and said, “You’re worthless because you’re too large to be useful.” People would give me a quizzical look, like, what’s wrong with this guy? But the instinct wouldn’t be to protect the large salt shaker.
I think this may have to do with liking the object at all, rather than thinking it’s cute in particular. If you insulted a painting that I liked (addressing it directly) which I thought was pretty but not cute—“you, painting, have no practical value whatsoever and are too overpriced to justify the space you’d take up on a wall!”—or spoke to a bowl of soup in a restaurant, which I thought was tasty but not cute—“you are too cold, and have too high a potato-to-clam ratio!”—I think that might bother me in the same way it would if you told a cute saltshaker that it was too small to be useful. Expressing harsh opinions of a liked object is seen as hostile.
I’ll have to take your word on how it would bother you, but I think a crucial difference is that in the instance of the cute salt shaker, the instinct is to protect—notice that the word used, “cruel,” is dependent upon how it’s received by the anthropomorphized salt shaker. If I tell the soup, “You’re too cold and have too high a potato-to-clam ratio!”—is it seen as cruel or mean? It seems more like it’s seen as, like you said, hostile—a statement more about my feelings in intent than the “feelings” of the salt shaker in consequence.
I also understand that I may be putting too much emphasis on your particular words, inferring precision where none was intended, so if that’s the case, let me know. But I think in the case of the cute object, I would be seen as a “bully,” whereas in the case of the soup or the painting, I’d be seen as generally unpleasant and critical. To the extent that there’s a victim with the un-cute objects, it’s the person who values them—I have insulted their taste. This is as opposed to the cute object, where the victim is the object itself.
I think you’re on to something—I am more likely to anthropomorphize a cute thing on a relevant level, and it would be my taste rather than the object’s imaginary feelings that I hypothesized would come into play if you insulted the painting or soup.
Why are you mean to candies :( now I feel sorry too for the poor candies. You anthropomorphism their pain and it leaks into us and that makes us sad for their felt pain through empathy. I think anyway, not like I’m strong evidence.
Report: No discernible response for anything except the creepy old man (minor positive emotional response). Note that I don’t really have a conception of “cute” or “sexy,” so disregard my responses for cute boy, cute girl, and sexiest person.
tl;dr: Cuteness is the word that we use when we want something to experience a feeling of safety or otherwise be more confident than we think they would feel without special effort to make them feel that way.
Thanks for expanding. I want to throw out a warning that we’re treading dangerously close to the foul line, but I think we’re still in-bounds.
I understand the general point that words can have different meanings, and I’m open to the possibility that I’m falling victim to the typical mind fallacy. I don’t have any alternate meanings suggested yet, so I’m going to try to preemptively defend my definition below.
I want to test this hypothesis with a visualization experiment. I don’t expect it will take longer than about 2 minutes to do all of the visualizations. This is the scene I want you to imagine: the person, animal, or object is standing or sitting, whichever can be expected of it. If it’s a person, he or she has a blank, unsmiling, neutral, unaggressive facial expression. If it’s an animal, its face is similarly at rest. It’s facing either Data or Spock (take your pick). Imagine Data or Spock saying the sentence out loud to the person, animal, or object.
52″ plasma television set—It’s flipping through many channels, previewing each one for about a second; someone is channel-surfing. “You will be replaced by better, cheaper technology in less than a year.”
Baby—“You would test very low on an IQ test. You will continue to be a net resource drain for several years.”
Sexiest person alive—Doesn’t matter who or what gender—this person is desired greatly, and desired primarily for their ability to satisfy you, personally, sexually. Take a minute and picture this person facing Data or Spock. “Your opinion isn’t respected in virtually any matter; people agree with it out of hope they’ll be able to sleep with you.”
Bunny—“In a year’s time, you will be harvested and your muscles will be cooked in a soup.”
Cute boy or girl—Crucially, “cute” describes a particular type of attractive person. Imagine a person you would describe as cute, but not a person who is attractive who could not be described as cute. For me (and some others), “attractive but not cute” is a category that includes “hot,” for example. If the word “cute” is a synoynm for “attractive” with perfect overlap, skip this question and note it below. If you imagined a girl: “You are valued for your womb and your abilities as a nanny. Men will want you for a wife but will consistently lust after other women for their sexual satisfaction.” If you imagined a boy: “Women will tolerate your lovemaking, but you will be valued for your patience and because your timidity makes women around you feel outgoing, bold, and charismatic.”
Hyena—“You will never have the opportunity to reproduce.”
Tiny shampoo bottle—Imagine a small carnation-pink shampoo bottle, perhaps 2 inches tall. It has a white, spherical cap. The spherical cap has a very small, intricate, carnation-pink ribbon affixed atop it, as if it were a Christmas gift. “Throw this bottle away; its small volume makes it effectively worthless as a shampoo container.”
An old man—Imagine an old man who could be perceived as “cute.” Perhaps an old man, short, 90 years old, who walks very slowly, bringing his elderly wife, of roughly the same build, a plate with a sandwich on it, and he’s torn the crust off the sandwich because he knows his wife doesn’t like it. His hair is combed impeccably over his bald spot. His pants aren’t long enough for his legs; they’re “highwaters.” After he sits next to her, he pats her knee. Now imagine this old man facing Data or Spock. “Your wife is still hiding love letters in her closet from her boyfriend before you, who left her. She still reads them and has never been as satisfied since marrying you.”
A creepy old man—Leering, sexually active. “You give women the creeps, so you won’t have sex again between now and when you die.”
Did some of these statements seem meaner than others? Did any of these make you want to say to Data or Spock, “Don’t say that!” or “You’re going to hurt his/its feelings”? If so, which?
My hypothesis is that the following visualizations will incite, in the typical person, either slight anger at Data or Spock, an instinct to reassure the object at which the unpretty truth is directed, or in some other way some protective behavior, such as an urge to refute the hypothesis especially emphatically for that particular visualization, more than the others: baby, bunny, cute boy/girl, tiny shampoo bottle, old man. My hypothesis is that the following incited either zero emotional response or a non-negative emotional response: TV, sexy person, hyena, creepy old man.
Interesting. My empathy seems to be working in a weird way.
TV set: it doesn’t sound mean at all—it’s an inanimate fucking object. (I’m assuming the old TV set will be sold or given away, rather than disposed of or destroyed, otherwise it would sound somewhat mean—towards the hypothetical person who could otherwise use the TV set, not towards the TV set itself.
Baby: not mean at all if the baby is too young to understand, very mean otherwise. By this point, I was thinking that “can they understand?” must be it.
Sexy person: somewhat mean. So far, so good; but...
Bunny: okay, this does sound kind-of mean, and the bunny most definitely doesn’t understand English, so my heuristic was broken. (I’m not sure whether me feeling empathy for a bunny is a bug or a feature.) Next:
Cute girl: slightly mean.
Cute boy: not mean at all. (But the fact that in certain ways I’m probably more feminine than usual for males might have something to do with that.)
Hyena: wow, that does sound somewhat mean (more than for the bunny). WTH? Some part of me must be an Azathoth worshipper.
Shampoo bottle: not mean at all. Can’t feel empathy for a bottle even if I try to force myself to. (And, as I once already mentioned, I do feel a sliver of empathy for the molecules in this picture when they’re hit particularly hard. What’s the difference? The fact that I’ve done moshing which is analogous to thermal collisions but I’ve never done anything remotely analogous to being a shampoo bottle about to be thrown away?
Old man: OMG, telling him that in front of his wife? ’The hell is wrong with you, Mr Spock?
Creepy old man: the “You give women the creeps” part doesn’t sound mean at all, the “you won’t have sex again between now and when you die” sounds extremely mean (but the fact that I’m involuntarily celibate myself probably has something to do with this).
I still don’t know, but the fact that I can feel sorry for someone talking to it is definitely a bug. I don’t think words should have any non-zero terminal value, they only matter insofar as they have an effect in the listener (and if Omega told me that there’s an M-Disc with $literary_work somewhere in intergalactic space where no-one could read it, and offered to give me $10 and destroy the disc, I would totally accept); and (pace certain new-agey bollocks) telling a bunny “In a year’s time, you will be harvested and your muscles will be cooked in a soup” won’t hurt it any more than telling it anything else.
It strikes me that tabooing “cute” might be useful here. Regardless of how we use the word, going back to the OP, what is it we mean when we talk about our reaction to say, a picture of a bunny or a kitty or a baby? For me, it’s an “awww” response, coupled with a smile and an urge to hold or pet or protect the animal. I don’t feel that way about a miniature object, exactly, or an old man, or a sexually attractive person. At best it’s a very muted version of the feeling.
Response: I have weak negative responses in all cases, inanimate objects included. The negative responses are stronger only in case of both old men. Ordering from the weakest to the strongest may be: plasma TV, sexiest person, shampoo, baby, hyena, bunny, creepy man, 90 years man.
Few disclaimers: a) I am not a native English speaker, so my understanding of “cute” is probably non-standard. b) I have excluded cute boy/girl from classification, since I have no idea what I may imagine. (Maybe related to a.) c) TV set would score much higher if it were an old black and white model from 1960s. d) I feel a difference in severity of revealed incovenient truths. “You will be cooked” is certainly more harsh than “you will be a resource drain”. e) It is difficult to answer, since my initial feelings rapidly change as I think about the situations longer. f) I don’t see how relevant is this test to the OP.
My responses: negative emotional response for all the humans, except the baby. Especially negative responses for both the old men. Neutral for the TV, baby, bunny, hyena, and shampoo. Did people seriously feel defensive or protective of inanimate objects?
I actually included that because of exactly that response from various girls about objects like hotel shampoo bottles, Japanese candies, a very small salt-shaker, a tiny spoon, etc. It usually goes something like, “Look at that salt shaker; it’s so cute.” And then I look at the salt shaker and say, “You’re worthless because you’re too small to be useful.” And the girl will go, “Don’t say that!” and then immediately grabs the salt shaker.
One time I drew pictures on a piece of scratchpaper in such a way that when a Japanese candy was placed in the middle of it, it looked like I had the candy strung up by chains and was being tortured via electric shock. My co-worker snatched the candy and still hasn’t eaten it; it’s still in her desk.
This could have more to do with a reaction to you than to the object. There’s no real motivation to love and protect a cute tiny salt shaker, but surely there’s also no call to be or simulate being cruel to it. I mean, it can’t hear you. If you address it and say nasty things to it, what are the possible motivations for that? Mightn’t it make sense on some psychological level to object and work to prevent the outlet of nastiness due to its perceived meaning about and effects on you rather than the saltshaker?
My point is that it’s perceived as nasty and cruel at all, rather than bizarre or slightly rude or honest. Imagine it was an excessively large salt shaker—say, several feet tall. And faced it and said, “You’re worthless because you’re too large to be useful.” People would give me a quizzical look, like, what’s wrong with this guy? But the instinct wouldn’t be to protect the large salt shaker.
I think this may have to do with liking the object at all, rather than thinking it’s cute in particular. If you insulted a painting that I liked (addressing it directly) which I thought was pretty but not cute—“you, painting, have no practical value whatsoever and are too overpriced to justify the space you’d take up on a wall!”—or spoke to a bowl of soup in a restaurant, which I thought was tasty but not cute—“you are too cold, and have too high a potato-to-clam ratio!”—I think that might bother me in the same way it would if you told a cute saltshaker that it was too small to be useful. Expressing harsh opinions of a liked object is seen as hostile.
I’ll have to take your word on how it would bother you, but I think a crucial difference is that in the instance of the cute salt shaker, the instinct is to protect—notice that the word used, “cruel,” is dependent upon how it’s received by the anthropomorphized salt shaker. If I tell the soup, “You’re too cold and have too high a potato-to-clam ratio!”—is it seen as cruel or mean? It seems more like it’s seen as, like you said, hostile—a statement more about my feelings in intent than the “feelings” of the salt shaker in consequence.
I also understand that I may be putting too much emphasis on your particular words, inferring precision where none was intended, so if that’s the case, let me know. But I think in the case of the cute object, I would be seen as a “bully,” whereas in the case of the soup or the painting, I’d be seen as generally unpleasant and critical. To the extent that there’s a victim with the un-cute objects, it’s the person who values them—I have insulted their taste. This is as opposed to the cute object, where the victim is the object itself.
I think you’re on to something—I am more likely to anthropomorphize a cute thing on a relevant level, and it would be my taste rather than the object’s imaginary feelings that I hypothesized would come into play if you insulted the painting or soup.
That fails to explain them protecting the shaker (or the candy.)
Why are you mean to candies :( now I feel sorry too for the poor candies. You anthropomorphism their pain and it leaks into us and that makes us sad for their felt pain through empathy. I think anyway, not like I’m strong evidence.
What the hell--
Interesting. My empathy seems to be working in a weird way. (Will elaborate on this later.)
Report: No discernible response for anything except the creepy old man (minor positive emotional response). Note that I don’t really have a conception of “cute” or “sexy,” so disregard my responses for cute boy, cute girl, and sexiest person.