Thanks for linking those comments, I think I understand your thinking better now.
My understanding of Vladimir_M’s comments is that Scott’s proposed approach falls down if used indiscriminately rather than saying that it should never be used.
Here are 4 scenarios where I might modify my behaviour based on claims of harm (in descending order of likelihood of me modifying):
1= Someone I trust tells me that I have offended a 3rd party (without the 3rd party complaining about offence)
1= At least 2 people from different friendship groups (no cross-contamination) tell me I’ve offended them in a similar way
3. Multiple people from a single friendship group tell me I’ve offended them
4. Someone I trust tells me that I have offended them
Would you suggest that some/all of these should definitely not result in modification? Or is it that you think that generally people modify too easily and you want to encourage people to modify significantly less often?
I’m genuinely curious because if anything I suspect I do err on the side of being too accommodating.
P.S. I think the link to Scott’s concession goes to the wrong comment, it’s here if anyone is looking for it.
Thanks for linking those comments, I think I understand your thinking better now.
My understanding of Vladimir_M’s comments is that Scott’s proposed approach falls down if used indiscriminately rather than saying that it should never be used.
Here are 4 scenarios where I might modify my behaviour based on claims of harm (in descending order of likelihood of me modifying):
1= Someone I trust tells me that I have offended a 3rd party (without the 3rd party complaining about offence)
1= At least 2 people from different friendship groups (no cross-contamination) tell me I’ve offended them in a similar way
3. Multiple people from a single friendship group tell me I’ve offended them
4. Someone I trust tells me that I have offended them
Would you suggest that some/all of these should definitely not result in modification? Or is it that you think that generally people modify too easily and you want to encourage people to modify significantly less often?
I’m genuinely curious because if anything I suspect I do err on the side of being too accommodating.
P.S. I think the link to Scott’s concession goes to the wrong comment, it’s here if anyone is looking for it.