I can’t help but think that some of this has to do with feminism, at least in the case of girl teenagers. I hear a lot of people emphasizing that having children is a choice, and it’s not for everyone. People are constantly saying things like “Having children is a huge responsibility and you have to think very carefully whether you want to do it.” The people saying this seem to have a sense that they’re counterbalancing societal pressures that say everyone should have children, or that women should focus on raising kids instead of having a career.
It’s interesting, though, that no one applies the same advice to careers. (At least, not in my demographic.) No one says “Following a career path is a huge responsibility, so think very carefully whether you want to do it.” A lot of people say “think very carefully about which career you want” but not “think carefully about whether you want a career at all”.
I wonder, also, if there’s gender differences. Do parents talk to male teenagers about their careers, and female teenagers about their future children, or anything like that?
No one says “Following a career path is a huge responsibility, so think very carefully whether you want to do it.”
A career is often equated with having a job. Or rather, a stable job, job security, a good salary that increases with time, etc. Therefore, unless you are independently wealthy, having a job / career is seen as both good and necessary: the alternative is to be poor.
On the other hand, having children is related mostly to happiness, satisfaction, and perhaps the social life. We know some people have no children and are still happy. So it’s much easier to accept that having children is optional for others (whether or not you want it for yourself or for your children).
There are certainly negative concepts associated with being childless-by-choice, but not as many or as strong as those associated with being poor-by-choice.
Sure, but that understanding is very specific to our culture. It’s only recently that we’ve come to see procreation as “recreation”—something unnecessary that we do for personal fulfillment.
Many people don’t hold jobs just to avoid being poor. It’s also a duty to society. If you can’t support yourself, then you’re a burden on society and its infrastructure.
I can’t help but think that some of this has to do with feminism, at least in the case of girl teenagers. I hear a lot of people emphasizing that having children is a choice, and it’s not for everyone. People are constantly saying things like “Having children is a huge responsibility and you have to think very carefully whether you want to do it.” The people saying this seem to have a sense that they’re counterbalancing societal pressures that say everyone should have children, or that women should focus on raising kids instead of having a career.
It’s interesting, though, that no one applies the same advice to careers. (At least, not in my demographic.) No one says “Following a career path is a huge responsibility, so think very carefully whether you want to do it.” A lot of people say “think very carefully about which career you want” but not “think carefully about whether you want a career at all”.
I wonder, also, if there’s gender differences. Do parents talk to male teenagers about their careers, and female teenagers about their future children, or anything like that?
A career is often equated with having a job. Or rather, a stable job, job security, a good salary that increases with time, etc. Therefore, unless you are independently wealthy, having a job / career is seen as both good and necessary: the alternative is to be poor.
On the other hand, having children is related mostly to happiness, satisfaction, and perhaps the social life. We know some people have no children and are still happy. So it’s much easier to accept that having children is optional for others (whether or not you want it for yourself or for your children).
There are certainly negative concepts associated with being childless-by-choice, but not as many or as strong as those associated with being poor-by-choice.
Sure, but that understanding is very specific to our culture. It’s only recently that we’ve come to see procreation as “recreation”—something unnecessary that we do for personal fulfillment.
Many people don’t hold jobs just to avoid being poor. It’s also a duty to society. If you can’t support yourself, then you’re a burden on society and its infrastructure.
Similarly, having children was once thought of as a duty to society. I read an article about this recently: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/03/03/the-3-ps-of-manhood-procreate/
Anyway, my point is, our idea that career is necessary but children are not is culture-specific.
Maybe in other cultures children get more instructions on eventually having children of their own, too? I don’t know.
That’s what I’m wondering.