Can you describe some occasions you met a new male friend (who you didn’t previously know) at a social event, lesswrong-related or otherwise, and how it wasn’t creepy, and what was fun/interesting/good about it.
This is a gender-neutral example, but one of the best ways to forestall stress/creepiness when meeting new people was pretty well summed up by a PUA. He suggested setting up a time by which your conversation has to end when you start it. (“Oh, I want to make the next bus, but I’ve got five min”). One thing that is stressful about being approached by someone you don’t know, especially if they seem a little off is having to simultaneously carry on a conversation and try to plan an exit. If you set up an exit when you approach and precommit ending the conversation then (unless you both are in the middle of something quite interesting) it’s easier to just be present for the conversation.
When I first went vegetarian as a teenager, most other teenagers’ reactions were along the lines of “Oh, that’s nice” or “I love to eat animals! They’re delicious! I’m going to eat a hamburger right in front of you! Ha!”
A friend introduced me to her boyfriend, and my vegetarianism came up. He immediately asked, “What do you do for protein, eat a lot of peanut butter?” I remember being impressed that even though he had no interest in being vegetarian himself, he could think from my perspective and notice a practical implication of my choice without passing judgement on it.
I meet most people on the Internet or by their having swung through my house while I was in more of a group living situation, but awhile ago I visited a minicamp and met a bunch of people, some of whom I hadn’t known before. I’ll use Andrew Critch as an example. I’d been hearing for a while from Anna that he wanted to meet me and kept missing me. (This was relevant for two reasons: a) he was not making meeting me his life’s mission or he could have done it much sooner, b) Anna seemed to like him and think we should talk). We had a conversation about miscellaneous topics ranging from the tree we were sitting under to his school stuff. I inquired about his schedule and dietary preferences so I’d know when to invite him to a dinner party. Eventually it got dark out where we were and we were being bitten by mosquitoes, so we went inside and dispersed—we both had other people to talk to.
Can you describe some occasions you met a new male friend (who you didn’t previously know) at a social event, lesswrong-related or otherwise, and how it wasn’t creepy, and what was fun/interesting/good about it.
This is a gender-neutral example, but one of the best ways to forestall stress/creepiness when meeting new people was pretty well summed up by a PUA. He suggested setting up a time by which your conversation has to end when you start it. (“Oh, I want to make the next bus, but I’ve got five min”). One thing that is stressful about being approached by someone you don’t know, especially if they seem a little off is having to simultaneously carry on a conversation and try to plan an exit. If you set up an exit when you approach and precommit ending the conversation then (unless you both are in the middle of something quite interesting) it’s easier to just be present for the conversation.
When I first went vegetarian as a teenager, most other teenagers’ reactions were along the lines of “Oh, that’s nice” or “I love to eat animals! They’re delicious! I’m going to eat a hamburger right in front of you! Ha!” A friend introduced me to her boyfriend, and my vegetarianism came up. He immediately asked, “What do you do for protein, eat a lot of peanut butter?” I remember being impressed that even though he had no interest in being vegetarian himself, he could think from my perspective and notice a practical implication of my choice without passing judgement on it.
I meet most people on the Internet or by their having swung through my house while I was in more of a group living situation, but awhile ago I visited a minicamp and met a bunch of people, some of whom I hadn’t known before. I’ll use Andrew Critch as an example. I’d been hearing for a while from Anna that he wanted to meet me and kept missing me. (This was relevant for two reasons: a) he was not making meeting me his life’s mission or he could have done it much sooner, b) Anna seemed to like him and think we should talk). We had a conversation about miscellaneous topics ranging from the tree we were sitting under to his school stuff. I inquired about his schedule and dietary preferences so I’d know when to invite him to a dinner party. Eventually it got dark out where we were and we were being bitten by mosquitoes, so we went inside and dispersed—we both had other people to talk to.