I’m saying it’s possible that what’s really going on is that you think Kaj is mistaken when he calls the situation a problem… that he has made an error. But rather than say “Kay, you are mistaken, you have made an error” you say “Kaj, I’m confused.” And that the reason you do this is because to say “Kay, you are mistaken, you have made an error” is to challenge Kaj’s status, which would potentially subject you to reprisals.
It’s possible that you’re doing this deliberately. In that case, by convention we would say you aren’t really confused. (We might also, by convention, say you’re being dishonest, or say that you’re being polite, or say various other things.)
It’s also possible that you are doing this unknowingly… that you are generating the experience of confusion so as to protect yourself from reprisal. In this case, it’s less clear whether convention dictates that we say you are “really confused” or “not really confused”. I would say it doesn’t at all matter; the best thing to do is not ask that question. (Or, if we must, to agree on a convention as to which one it is.)
In any case, I agree with your basic point about goal optimization, I just think talking about whether it constitutes a “real problem” or not contributes nothing to the discussion, much like I think talking about whether you’re experiencing “real confusion” in the latter case contributes nothing.
That said, you are completely ignoring the knock-on effects of lying (e.g., increasing the chances that I will be perceived as lying in a social context where being perceived in this way has costs).
Ah, then I misunderstood you. Yes, I believe Kaj is wrong, either in calling this a problem or in the assumption that status-seeking is a good explanation of it. However, based on past contributions, I think that Kaj has thought a lot about this and it is more likely that I’m misunderstanding him than that he is wrong. Thus my expressed confusion. If further discussion fails to clear this up, I will shift to assuming that he is simply wrong.
I’m saying it’s possible that what’s really going on is that you think Kaj is mistaken when he calls the situation a problem… that he has made an error. But rather than say “Kay, you are mistaken, you have made an error” you say “Kaj, I’m confused.” And that the reason you do this is because to say “Kay, you are mistaken, you have made an error” is to challenge Kaj’s status, which would potentially subject you to reprisals.
It’s possible that you’re doing this deliberately. In that case, by convention we would say you aren’t really confused. (We might also, by convention, say you’re being dishonest, or say that you’re being polite, or say various other things.)
It’s also possible that you are doing this unknowingly… that you are generating the experience of confusion so as to protect yourself from reprisal. In this case, it’s less clear whether convention dictates that we say you are “really confused” or “not really confused”. I would say it doesn’t at all matter; the best thing to do is not ask that question. (Or, if we must, to agree on a convention as to which one it is.)
In any case, I agree with your basic point about goal optimization, I just think talking about whether it constitutes a “real problem” or not contributes nothing to the discussion, much like I think talking about whether you’re experiencing “real confusion” in the latter case contributes nothing.
That said, you are completely ignoring the knock-on effects of lying (e.g., increasing the chances that I will be perceived as lying in a social context where being perceived in this way has costs).
Ah, then I misunderstood you. Yes, I believe Kaj is wrong, either in calling this a problem or in the assumption that status-seeking is a good explanation of it. However, based on past contributions, I think that Kaj has thought a lot about this and it is more likely that I’m misunderstanding him than that he is wrong. Thus my expressed confusion. If further discussion fails to clear this up, I will shift to assuming that he is simply wrong.