Indeed, there is. I don’t like this particular way of removing the word “should” since it seems to ignore the unspoken “negative” bit, but I’ve played around with a similar exercise of removing “should” from my vocabulary so that I would have to speak the unspoken bit.
Constantly doing things that you don’t want to do isn’t a fun way to go through life. It’s not effective at making good decisions either. The “I “should”/”have to” do this thing that I don’t want to” frame presupposes that the alternative is realistic enough to yearn for but you’re not doing anything about it!. If it’s realistic, do something about it. If it isn’t, shut up and be content. Shit or get off the pot.
I can make any choice available to me. My actions have consequences though, and I can’t fulfill all of my desires. Of my choices, which do I want? Of course I can eat healthy, but that means I can’t eat junk food. If I have to consciously force myself to be excited about eating healthy, maybe it’s because I like junk food and I’m not thrilled about giving it up.
Once I can verbalize that unspoken wish to eat junk food and eat healthy, then I can make my choice and feel like I’m doing what I want to do (without “will power” or nagging thoughts).
So that’s why/how I try to minimize my use of “should”. Of course, it takes a bit of time and so for trivial matters I just shrug it off and say “opportunity cost”
Indeed, there is. I don’t like this particular way of removing the word “should” since it seems to ignore the unspoken “negative” bit, but I’ve played around with a similar exercise of removing “should” from my vocabulary so that I would have to speak the unspoken bit.
Constantly doing things that you don’t want to do isn’t a fun way to go through life. It’s not effective at making good decisions either. The “I “should”/”have to” do this thing that I don’t want to” frame presupposes that the alternative is realistic enough to yearn for but you’re not doing anything about it!. If it’s realistic, do something about it. If it isn’t, shut up and be content. Shit or get off the pot.
I can make any choice available to me. My actions have consequences though, and I can’t fulfill all of my desires. Of my choices, which do I want? Of course I can eat healthy, but that means I can’t eat junk food. If I have to consciously force myself to be excited about eating healthy, maybe it’s because I like junk food and I’m not thrilled about giving it up.
Once I can verbalize that unspoken wish to eat junk food and eat healthy, then I can make my choice and feel like I’m doing what I want to do (without “will power” or nagging thoughts).
So that’s why/how I try to minimize my use of “should”. Of course, it takes a bit of time and so for trivial matters I just shrug it off and say “opportunity cost”