I may possibly end up identifying as poly, but I have never been in a relationship
I may possibly end up identifying as Santa Claus, but I have never been to the North Pole, and I actually don’t like Christmas.
Sorry for bluntness, but I understand how people can live in a poly relationship, or how people can desire to live in a poly relationship even if at the given moment they are not… but what is the point of “identifying as poly” if you do neither? Do you get a sticker for being a good ally?
the person coordinating the seminar thought that it would be better to leave out rationalist stuff
I agree. The connection between rationality and polyamory is mostly accidental. Most polyamorous people out there don’t give a fuck about rationality. And while quite many people in the rationalist community go “yeah, having more relationships is obviously better—other people just never thought about it because they are not as smart as we are—what could possibly go wrong?”, there has already been some drama, and it is too soon to tell whether this experiment will turn out to be a net benefit.
Maybe history will put polyamory in the same bin as “followers of Ayn Rand believed it was rational to smoke”. Maybe not. But so far I think it is better to think about “rationality” and “polyamory” as separate topics.
I have a pile of reading to do before I plan this session
Perhaps it would be better to read (subset of) the pile first, and ask later. This way it feels too much like “please, do my homework for me”.
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Uhm, I guess it would be nice to also answer some of your questions. Not being poly myself, I can only suggest generally:
Read the pile. Optionally, write a summary and ask here for feedback on that. Make a 25-minute presentation based on that summary, and leave 20 minutes for debate. (That way, if you accidentally keep talking for 30 or 35 minutes, there will still be some time left for the debate.)
1. In an attempt to explain myself better: I have never been in a relationship. The benefits of healthy polyamory posed to me previously make sense to me logically. But because I do not actively think about relationships, nor have I been in one, I do not know whether I will be more comfortable with a mono relationship or with poly relationships. Which is why I say I may end up identifying. It makes sense to me, but I am yet to know what my personal experience will present to me.
2. I didn’t exactly mean to directly align rationality to polyamory and make them appear in any way adjacent. I just thought, because of the stigmas against polyamory, it would make for an interesting subject as a demonstration of steelmanning.
3. I didn’t mean this post in a way of “do my homework for me”. It was more a call for open input to supplement the reading in the form of anything anyone things is important for me to consider from their point of view, or lived experiences.
4. Thanks for the suggestion, if I do pick polyamory as my topic, I will take you up on the suggestion and write a summary here for feedback.
I may possibly end up identifying as Santa Claus, but I have never been to the North Pole, and I actually don’t like Christmas.
Sorry for bluntness, but I understand how people can live in a poly relationship, or how people can desire to live in a poly relationship even if at the given moment they are not… but what is the point of “identifying as poly” if you do neither? Do you get a sticker for being a good ally?
I agree. The connection between rationality and polyamory is mostly accidental. Most polyamorous people out there don’t give a fuck about rationality. And while quite many people in the rationalist community go “yeah, having more relationships is obviously better—other people just never thought about it because they are not as smart as we are—what could possibly go wrong?”, there has already been some drama, and it is too soon to tell whether this experiment will turn out to be a net benefit.
Maybe history will put polyamory in the same bin as “followers of Ayn Rand believed it was rational to smoke”. Maybe not. But so far I think it is better to think about “rationality” and “polyamory” as separate topics.
Perhaps it would be better to read (subset of) the pile first, and ask later. This way it feels too much like “please, do my homework for me”.
.
Uhm, I guess it would be nice to also answer some of your questions. Not being poly myself, I can only suggest generally:
Read the pile. Optionally, write a summary and ask here for feedback on that. Make a 25-minute presentation based on that summary, and leave 20 minutes for debate. (That way, if you accidentally keep talking for 30 or 35 minutes, there will still be some time left for the debate.)
1. In an attempt to explain myself better: I have never been in a relationship. The benefits of healthy polyamory posed to me previously make sense to me logically. But because I do not actively think about relationships, nor have I been in one, I do not know whether I will be more comfortable with a mono relationship or with poly relationships. Which is why I say I may end up identifying. It makes sense to me, but I am yet to know what my personal experience will present to me.
2. I didn’t exactly mean to directly align rationality to polyamory and make them appear in any way adjacent. I just thought, because of the stigmas against polyamory, it would make for an interesting subject as a demonstration of steelmanning.
3. I didn’t mean this post in a way of “do my homework for me”. It was more a call for open input to supplement the reading in the form of anything anyone things is important for me to consider from their point of view, or lived experiences.
4. Thanks for the suggestion, if I do pick polyamory as my topic, I will take you up on the suggestion and write a summary here for feedback.