Well written, I really enjoyed this. This is not really on topic but I’d be curious to read and “idiot’s guide” or maybe an “autist’s guide” on how to avoid sounding condescending.
I think that not sounding condescending is absolutely critical to having good discussions on this (and many other obscure and technical topics).
I have had a lifelong journey of going from sounding condescending way too much, to sounding less condescending, at least when I remember to try. I don’t know if I’m a bit on the autism spectrum, or just raised to value logic and winning arguments over social skills.
I think a lot of it is tone of voice and timing. I’m not going to get those by acting, so I just try to adopt a soft and patient emotional tone, and continually remind myself that the person I’m talking to hasn’t thought about this topic nearly as much, and I probably sound like an idiot when I talk about other people’s favorite topics. Finding points of agreement and voicing them before moving on to points of disagreement is key. So is not expecting to change someone’s mind in the moment. I think offering ideas and perspectives, and letting people think them through is how people learn and change beliefs.
Well written, I really enjoyed this. This is not really on topic but I’d be curious to read and “idiot’s guide” or maybe an “autist’s guide” on how to avoid sounding condescending.
Aw, thanks!
I think that not sounding condescending is absolutely critical to having good discussions on this (and many other obscure and technical topics).
I have had a lifelong journey of going from sounding condescending way too much, to sounding less condescending, at least when I remember to try. I don’t know if I’m a bit on the autism spectrum, or just raised to value logic and winning arguments over social skills.
I think a lot of it is tone of voice and timing. I’m not going to get those by acting, so I just try to adopt a soft and patient emotional tone, and continually remind myself that the person I’m talking to hasn’t thought about this topic nearly as much, and I probably sound like an idiot when I talk about other people’s favorite topics. Finding points of agreement and voicing them before moving on to points of disagreement is key. So is not expecting to change someone’s mind in the moment. I think offering ideas and perspectives, and letting people think them through is how people learn and change beliefs.