Seems that we mostly agree here, the major disagreement is about terminology.
I disagree about too wide use of “shit-testing” to include… maybe not testing in general, but still more than the narrow meaning in the PUA literature… which is approximately “purposefully annoying your partner, in order to find out whether the partner is good at keeping their boundaries”.
I agree that if there are incompatibilities between people, it’s better to find them sooner rather than later. And that sometimes you need to search for the possible incompatibilities actively.
Seems that we mostly agree here, the major disagreement is about terminology.
I disagree about too wide use of “shit-testing” to include… maybe not testing in general, but still more than the narrow meaning in the PUA literature… which is approximately “purposefully annoying your partner, in order to find out whether the partner is good at keeping their boundaries”.
I agree that if there are incompatibilities between people, it’s better to find them sooner rather than later. And that sometimes you need to search for the possible incompatibilities actively.